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more Reverend there you have it you’re the man we don’t have on here for spiritual of God well that’s what I use in the paths of righteousness and Ravin Reverend where I’ve been winter view hey someone have been bothered me is there any nuns living in your parish about that high I can assure you there’s no Nance there is another are there any nuns I mean Deb Macomb all that ice there’s not gonna show you there’s no no Gonzaga there’s none anywhere is there no I told you you shagged a penguin I know heavenly wings of water baby Oh morning Reverend just a few ladies and gentlemen last night he was in New York City USA tonight all the way from New York City USA for you tonight the one New Yorker [ __ ] it was Newark I’m Alicia no Leigh Denzil said to me Jeffro he said if the world’s been end in three minutes he said what would you do I thought I’d shag anything the moon I said what would you do we said I’d stand very very still hey you bleep they wrote they wronged me today say Geoffrey will you run a marathon for charity I said I can’t run a bloody marathons 26 model a great thing they said it for people that have loss of legs I thought [ __ ] I can win that bloody will I can nobody NAB you place I’ve been into o counter now and has seen a soldier he running through the street he bled he flying and the police is chasing this soldier and he is bloody flying and the police is flying – well there was a nun in the fish-and-chip shop doorway and the dirty bobert he hide underneath her happened when the police was gone on he committee said I’m sorry about that madam but he said the truth of it is he says the police are chasing me said I don’t want to go to Iraq but he said I see underneath your habit you got the beautifulest pair white legs I ever saw she said have you looked a little bit higher you just seen a pair of balls I don’t want to go to Iraq but you don’t know no poor old mrs frigging stems and just parole so she’s 84 lumen pearl so she had to go to see the guy in the colleges where she’s 84 well they called her feet up in the stirrups he said you’re very tense mrs fragance he said well I’m nervous put some more that jelly stuff on he said you’ll have to relax you’re very nervous he will I’m ten on that the phone rung he said hello I can’t speak I’m here with mrs. Riggins well if you’re in joy Street you’re not very far away just go straight up the high street top the – there’s a big round a bank around a neuter laughter and left and then there’s a little bridge that goes right up a black map then there’s another roundabout you just turn right and we’re just there on the left we’ll see you in the bed five minutes he said I’m very sorry about that mr Brigance who she said don’t worry bear that just go back to the first round the back No Mervin you see this – oh is it down there by the church there’s one the flat roof on the first house in there there’s a man there he’s a genealogist

and in the next house there’s a gynecologist you won’t believe that would you how do ya yes sir what what is the difference between those two what Trina Ginny olives in the gun well a genealogist looks up the family tree and the Ghana colors looks up the family Bush together the people in the back my wife’s a sad bastard Kilty he Worthen you she said to me Jeff Rosita wasis reincarnation business I feel when you die you go away and you come back to something completely different she said I could come back as a pig I said you’re not listening he just thought this is done but she could she should have been home last night 11 o’clock she got on quarter past two I said why you so late home she said I was followed on by a man who was a very slow Walker Belinda it’s a 25th anniversary of my marriage in that lovely and that lovely in there nice and she wanted to relive our honeymoon Chris remember when we got when we zhan honeymoon I was given their portion up against the farmers fence and the fence fell down and the farmer he is nasty he charges ten pound for knocking the fence down I said well we’ll pay five pound Ichi so you can piss off ice push another way my god I said I’m gonna try a little bit tonight doggie fashion cheesy you’re not having any doggie fashion eyes I just won tried like the doggie fashions that you either do it conventional way or nozzle as a dog on just one more she said no doggy fashion either do it the convent’s way well I said well all right that’s what I love to do see what am I got me ending me Carl called inner coil even ours like a mini-mall trap catch me right behind the knob in the bucket when you know tight we get out see well we stuck together well well then we had to call the doctor or the ambulance come with a they put us on the stretcher both of us she said I never been embarrassed at my life riding out on a stretcher we who I saw well if you did it my way we could have marched him I went in down summer and I said I’d like a see-through night dress from my lovely wife this is what size is he I said she’s 58 he said what the hell do you want to see through that for but I’ve been shot of the day of dazzle we got to his shoe shop and there’s a parachute would each fallen like a bollock today I never think it front will is like a lion roaring they stink you think he had a ferret when he got inside the shoe shop he’s a Jefferies there’s a little pool he’s a lovely pair of shoes is up crisis he says his lovely parents said we’ll look you’ve been try them on I’ll stay with a bit fresher air when he got into the shop and he said the man you’ve got a bit of a pair I saw just can have it just seemed to be flying than that you literally pair of shoes up I’d like to try them all on the bloke right but he got in sat there on any simple try one they put one on he said is a bit tight he will try with the tongue a little bit Russ he said that my charlie he’s my friend to tell you himself this the the made 10 million years ago she went and added couldn’t have any babies she and her husband Robert they couldn’t have any children and she went for a medical and he had a look at he said well the results will be a two on on Wednesday morning so when Robert went fishing Wednesday morning she said when the dog doesn’t get the result of my test and see why I can’t have a baby blue and he said I come from my wife’s results he told I’d be honest you Mr Pascoe he said your wife has got an inadequate passage and

if he has a baby a little bit of miracle he said that’s what I gotta tell her right he time I remember this she got an inadequate passage and she have a baby or beer miracle he’s a right I got that went fishing all day head off the lizard all day come back in the dolphin they got pizza rat got home and she said well what are the doctors saying no he said I gotta get this right he’s a father I can remember he said you got an addict in your passage and who got the baby will be a Mac Oh like I know back in the winter lives I will not to see Millwall play Fulham in that lovely and I got in the wrong end and I’m in the Millwall supporters and they don’t like me and they went Fulham score and I cheered they bastard they beat me up they give me a bloody hammering and they they took me boots off and then half time I had to go and get the ball for them all and pay a bastard and I had to come back cuz they had me bloody boots when I come back and I think they all had Bovril well when I commit after that after the game the BBC was doing a survey and there’s what do you think about the relationship between the supporters of Millwall and Fulham I said I don’t think it’s good and I don’t think it’ll improve while they’re [ __ ] in our boots and we’re pissing in their Bovril there’s no way full but within the pub last night and bloke said Geoffrey said I had your mother last night in the kitchen he said I ought to give your mother hell of a portrait like that my mother in the kid then I give her another portion in the stairs then I took her in the garden bend her over the lawn more and give her another portion as I come on father you go drunk enough well I had to go away fortnight ago when I Kannamma said my little daughter have you enjoyed yourself well daddy been away as she said when you was away mummy had the milkman in and he come in for a cup of tea oh he has he’s a very nice man isn’t yet he’s a nice man he kissed mummy in the lamb sure and what I’m there when he took mummys tits out that’s what all of not that bloody great laughs funny never had that borrowed and then I said whoa don’t say anymore don’t say anymore I don’t hear any more when all the family and all the in-laws are around having dinner tonight I want you to tell them all the little story you’re about to tell me when I got them all around the table and I said no Demelza what was that lovely little story he was telling me about your mommy well it lovely she said yeah when you was away daddy’s mommy had the milkman and she kissed the milkman Oh in that lovely then she got mommy’s tits out oh yes one then then she then she pulled off mommy’s drawers yes tell the family what happened then then she got mother Lloyd down on the floor yes and he got on top of what I’m then then he said they played that funny old game you played with auntie Mildred when mommy was away my grant my grandfather he he’s 97 and granny’s 95 and they said last week this have one more go before we die shallots he said we can manage that now we’re too old he’s abut we’ll have one more go he’s a cruise hmm she said let’s have one more go we should well or I will have a go when he got out he got looking in the wardrobe then in the drawers then in the pockets of all she said what you’re looking for he said looking for me condoms she said I was on the pill but he fell out 50 year ago you don’t calm down to me I’m 94 when he said the doctor said is the only part of my body that haven’t got arthritis and don’t get it down from the auntie died little darlin and she’s gone to have my auntie Paul so you got in the waiting room in heaven there’s a woman next door screeching like hell let hell of a rack the balls on this and well she’s there drilling holes into our wings fetish yeah yeah well that’s a bit painful in it like colleagues or that whatever then went quiet then G started hell in this region again [ __ ] is it what to do it now this was a drill in other holes but put a halo on paulie’s that I don’t wanna know no more of that bollocks that she says send me down to hell they said you don’t want to go to hell you’ll be raped and you’ll be

buggered if you go to hell but she said at least I’ll have a whole sISTAR as in the dental back into it I said come there with me and see Plymouth Argyle play football general he said I can go my wife will kill me she to carry to youth I said she pure you tell me you’re coming down with Jeff Road to see Plymouth Argyle play he said she won’t let me go I said if she say no take her up in the bedroom throw on the bed hey learn knickers off throw the mother windows slap her ass and say I’ll see you when I get back from Plymouth well I never seen him down Plymouth but when I got a run him I said I didn’t see you down Plymouth Argyle he said well I wanted Geoffrey’s a what happened well he said I thought about what you said and he said I said I’m going down to Plymouth to see our core play said oh no you’re not eat Acadian he said oh yes I am and she said oh and he said I done exactly what you said I took her throat her on the bed and I’d pull her knickers off and through another window he said then I got had a good look at her I thought I don’t know Plymouth aren’t playing all that good I’m drinking in the water in the river and the gorillas come up beyond he said I never shagged a lion no speech as yet his tail up in the air and his head down in the water I’m this gorilla come up and give him a portion up the selection box and the lion this bucket but when he finished he runs cuz a disappointed lion with a sore ass is one of the gaseous things on the planet and he wit even to this bloody tail of this lion wasn’t good like he was flying and he said the bee catch me I’m in the [ __ ] will he come in the corner the man in the seat with a bolo out on reading the newspaper the gorilla super suddenly took his bowler out and the newspaper he say he’ll never see me here hear the lion come around the corner he said if either one of you two gentlemen seen a gorilla he said you mean the one the shag the light and Christ he said is it in the paper what do think you’re doing I’m Betty well you’re doing your bloody I’m getting married Saturday what I gonna do goomy what the hell you doing well the vicar said I are gonna give her my trough you got to give me your drawers yeah you got to give me your bloody trough I Betty that’s my bloody trough no he said will you give you her your trough gotta be your trafficking given my trough has my bloody trough if I is gonna call you a [ __ ] what we do I kick in the private if I thought youse a [ __ ] what do you do well I couldn’t do nothing about that only you think what you like well I think you’re a [ __ ] Africa in this live eh I mean it is true because people have been gone across I mean my grandfather learn across Africa back or great grounder 1891 and he could to try to help the famine problem and the at him it was pretty good right the big fella like me I know the story was it he come across a big clearing and there was a dead elephant this thing must burn about 30 ton with a two foot pygmy next to it and me ground great-grandmother’s head who killed the elephant the big pygmies head a little bit he said I did he said you’re too fat tall he said this must be 30 ton he said I don’t believe you’ve killed it and the pygmy was stood there looked loincloth and I and he said I killed it and he said edger killer he said I killed it in club he said you must have a big club he said there’s ten thousand of us I loved her a wonderful night last island of I went to it to Big Show is a faith healer and they’re fabulous what they do and I couldn’t believe it I went to this faith in insuring the man’s it praise the Lord hallelujah we have come to heal you this is in calling’ ttan because the last mission do you come to Cowen we at the basser you still wear his cap but this is good he’s a faith healer and he said is there anyone in our audience

tonight that has any ailments I become a man on scrunches he said I can see you’re an ill man he said and tell me about yourself ease that I’ve been on crutches all my life and I’ve come to be healed he said hallelujah you shall be healed tonight here in this tent in calendar is it go beyond the curtains and when we finish this service you will be healed I’ll lay two bloody luleå [ __ ] I said this is brynan in calendar well I’ve got another man he looked alright and he said what’s matter be you see said I God he stammered he said when you wouldn’t notice it he’s what you call he’s an uncle Brian he said Brian he said at the end of the show tonight you will be able to speak as normal as any man with us tonight go beyond the curtain with John with his crutches and after the show would finish you will speak as well as John will walk hallelujah well it Mars when the show finished she said everybody had their arms and singing hollander and you read a passage from the Bible are you already set the end he said alright lens omen what’s this John throw out your crutches have the crutches come over the top of the tent [ __ ] however everybody’s had it is it Brian say somebody citizen JAMA fell over in here The Vicar ooh The Vicar dancin just everytime we bout to appoint a new vicar was he the previous vicar been too onerous with a lady parishioner – filthy bastard he was and we had to make sure any new vigour could resist the sexual temptation before we could appoint them with last Friday we had 12 apply we got all these vicars in the Women’s Institute and we stripped them all off and we hang a bell on all their [ __ ] now we got a big dark-haired woman from calling’ ttan with the big black means like to see you in the air there’s she she’s going to rub up against the veers and if the bell ring they’re out no I’m keeping score lucky enough I didn’t have a Belloc I couldn’t believe it I couldn’t believe it she rubbed up against that first vicar he’s Bell never tinkled he never bloody tickled I couldn’t leave it and she rubbed up against old and vicars and there won one of them bells that even tinkled you wouldn’t believe it will do till she got to number ten she rubbed up again him and his pal went bloody preserved in fact they rung that Margit fell off the end of his knob and he’s step forward and bend over to pick it up and they all started blow it in how many the doctors last night I said problems I said I keep thinking my lamothe if you want to go and see a psychiatrist I said last way I was going but I got attracted by your light this is a very old famous church our damn tank because the background the back is a really old famous cabbie used to work for polos in the people that yeah that maybe the mint yes I have one in my breast pocket and I thought I’d a hole in my band I’m telling you he was painting the Polo on top of the factory and he’d leaning out through the outlast oh and he fell through the letter Oney fell 14 stories to his death in the street powerful and he’d never need family and they thought they’d like put a nice headstone point in there any money and invited all the employees to write a little bit of an epitaph to go on he’s nice his grave is lovely what a lovely idea and somebody come up with a bit of one it said here lies John there was none better he went as he came through a hole in a letter I’ve been looking at some of the egg songs there and it was telling me if in chat there’s a big cotton factory oohs were they many many years ago and bloke then see he’s met one day and he said he said I’ve come to see John he said dad we said we’ve sent up the wall Rampton in the lorry to pick up some cotton he said so I’ll telling you come he said it’s alright if I pops in the [ __ ] see him he said no problem so he went about four o’clock the next day I come to see Johnny he said he’s gone the Coventry of dated to get more copper mill he’s only gonna be gonna get back till Saturday so

do you think it’d be sad he said he always works overtime Saturday morning he said ten o’clock you’re getting so he coming at 10 o’clock he said about John he’s if I told you he’s gone whip to it she said to get more cotton he said you’re gonna believe me I said no he said was true he said well I’ll come in Monday mornings on Monday morning and the bosses in tears he said he said what’s wrong he said John’s dead did you joke with me tonight that he said the truck crash on the way back he said ah I must get to return Rita we know believe this he said he couldn’t wait so it buried him that burden yesterday hmm he said where’s his gray he said he could just overall do it in there and you can see the epitaph now if it here lies the body of John’s gone but not forgotten you should be hearing later on what happened me and Sean the singer was in Ireland and we found three bombs beyond the bike shed and we put him in the taxi to take him to the police we drive and down through a Belfast and I said did you what will happen if one of them bombs goes off he said we’ll tell the policeman we only found two mr. Sean Harry John come on bastard this angelic bastard look at them eyes he’s a [ __ ] he evil and come up here come on the see you he fled two thousand pound to a man’s out plastic surgery he now he can’t get his money back and he don’t know who to look for please he’s a man neither that’s him angelic features plenty angel eyes he’s the man that was arrested last Grand National Day for making love to a woman on peaches Brooke in there when he was took the court he had for 15 other fences to be Damien kissing a buddy buddy done that’s what he does he’s in trouble again he’s in court this week as last Friday in the village way Lib he threw Harvick all over the vicar and Wednesday he’s in court for a bleaching priest new chicken debrief last last week anywhere so works at me all the time we was up in Newark and we always he’s always pitch went in the pub and a woman come in she’s about 90s she put her arm up she had the Harriers armpit I ever seen til you come in is you you know he is like a bloody allotment she’s it would any man like to buy me a drink and he said all get the dancer a drink I said what make you think she’s a dancer and he said anybody even get her leg that are in the air must be attack and hang all of that suit that fashions coming back go back the Dom Kashia 20 he’s the man the song is this the way to Amarillo cuz my wife went to the doctor and she took what I take me knickers off my fanny keep singing is this the way that he said oh don’t worry about that every Duensing in that but stars in your eyes this Saturday don’t miss it there’s two lesbians on and they’re gonna sing is this a way to Rama dildo thank you john dellmore joy would you ever accumulate odds for your wealth gambling gambling Lynette did it all one afternoon at noon Abbott restaurants and 330 Newton Abbot when and I said to the bookie I said how many horses running in 3:30 he said there six I said it’s dragonfly running he said yes I said I put 500 pound on dragonfly he said he 50 to one I suffered 500 pound on dragonfly to win it I went up all the bookies and I put 500 pound with all the bookies and the man come up mate he said don’t be a fool he said dragonfly I’ve got no chance of winning this never in a million years I said you make that he said I know he said he can’t when he said he’s my horse I said he will when I said cuz I own the other five yeah they were they would that cut the grass the other day the Graham and Graham fer and cause even their 18th night yeah and grand got a strimmer saying is what battery power of one weighs about a pang that’s all and she’s trimming away in grand I was raking up the lawn and they an old lamp it sounds like a joke but it

ended early and he raped this land but on grand say what is it he said I found an old lamp she said is it brass or copper he said well I don’t know she said well it if it’s brass or copper we might better sell at the boot sale so he rubbed it on his jacket and what up yeah it’s big Jeanne popped out with a big turbine on John Deere written all over the turbine grant us a new you he’s well I’m the genie said I’ve had me needed up on a reach-in for four thousand years you released me he said then for that he said I want to grant you one Western eterna me granny looked at her and he thought I do love her I’ve been with her so many as I do love her he said I wish he was 50 years younger than me and it was a flash of lightning and me grandfathers 136 when I got married proceed me and ends will be married to sisters and we had a joint wedding and honeymoon and we got on honeymoon with the two sisters and Angel said I bet I shall give it a portion more often than you do who cuz you’re gonna chance me for Christ like I said they used to call me the mad muffler from mezzo that’s cause I can breathe through my ears what is it we’ll have a competition every time you give a report and he said put a mark on the headboard and we’ll count up in the morning as a real bloody Z or taking candy from a solid beat him new trouble well I took her to bed and give her the portion when I put up one that was very good one that that was one and then the bed I passed – I woke up again and mood rushed did I give her a stuff in our past you’ll never see judges chastening your lifetime did I give her captain lucky I never killed her you veneer the slits rattling on the roof by Jesus I give her she had some rough stuffing but this is on Myrtle the way I am I pull her hair and I talk dirty to take them with her that mug yourself yeah okay we’re fine Jesus I give her a shot lucky I never damage her internally she never woke up well that was two then in the morning I give her another one well that was three so I added me three oh love but I passed seven Penberthy came in my bedroom on his hands and his knees he said you bastard he’s at a hundred eleven you beat me be wood when he weren’t in Ireland he went to work into the factory and there was a bomb planted outside the factory it looked just like a sandwich but his Devon he’s definitely a bomb because there’s two wires coming out of it and he rung the police he said there’s a bomb planted outside the factory it looks just like a sandwich but it’s definitely not a sandwich because there’s new wires coming out of it and I think it’s ready to go off at any time they said is it ticking he said no his beef my god haha no I got a word wrong I gotta get a job in the kam hall and he said to his mother he’s why I got this bloody great hump on my back he said when you’re in the desert you can store the water in your hump hmm and you travelled right across the desert carrying your own water he said that’s bloody brilliant he’s a wife I got these many great feet she said well in the desert when the Sun gets off the big feet I’ll stop you sinking in the sand he said that’s plenty British and see why I got these plenty great eyelashes within the desert when the sand gets off and the wind blows up the soft sand the long eyelashes will keep the sand out of your eyes these are that’s bloody brilliant he’s a what am i doing in London Zoo but I can remember a teacher was at Junior School in San Tomas and Exeter and we’ve only been there about a week

and a new teacher come in and she said the kids were all about six and seven and she said I want to try and find out your names she said in that way she said I’ll better talk to you on a one-to-one basis which was nice run it like she said and if you’ve got a story behind your name she said then it’ll be nice to know the story for the chair with a class so she said those little girls he said what’s your name and the little girl looked up and she said I’m called rosebud she said what a beautiful names lovely name beautiful and she’s a why are you called rosebud she said I was a baby in my mum’s stomach she said they went on a picnic a rosebud come off a bush and landed on her stomach and we father said if it’s a girl we’re gonna call it rosebud she said in that beautiful story and she turned his other little girl she said oh girls he said what’s your name she’s a nun called petal see what a beautiful name she said why you call petals year when I was a baby of mummys tummy she said they want a picnic she said and a petal come off of a flower and landed on a tummy and my dad and mum said if it’s a girl we’re gonna call it Patil yeah teacher said in that a wonderful story of wonderful and she turned this little boy and she said what’s your name and the little boy looked up he went dreams brach didn’t school and she come to Lassiter and she’s and I’m your new teacher I’ll start next to him my name is Miss Franny just probably fr a mm wide and anybody can remember my name the first day and next term will go on early Willie Thomas I remember that shining with an R you’ll remember that all of Sumrall of this miss Franny Fanny with an R and I’m gonna have a half a day off I’m going to be the one that remember our name miss Franny Franny Willam our next day they started to all gonna read you know is there anybody that can remember my name only Willie put it on them as was my name he said Miss Crump were psycho that bloody duck he went in the parlour duck and he said aloud I visited her he’s a class of fish and chips he said we don’t sell fish and chips were a pub we don’t sell fish and chips now get it over pop I don’t like ducks in my pub and don’t commit again and we don’t sell fishes chips you come in the next days have you got any fish and chips he’s I told you yesterday we don’t sell fish and chips and we’re pub and I don’t like ducks and if you come in again I’m gonna nail you to the bloody floor he come in the next days have you got any nails he said no he’s a cow has a vision hmm I want anything chip shop with the salmon under me or harm I said yourself fish cakes it no I said pity cuz it is birthday today let’s see Jared elgu down the Camborne the detective are retired we’ve had to appoint the new detective down the cow bore what about three boys applied for the job one of them was dazzle he said of the first boy to be a detective in camboriú you got to be very very observant any distinguishing features on the person says you’ve got to see recognize you could have to give evidence in court he said I’m going to show you a picture and you tell me what you notice are you ready there you go he said you got two seconds right he said tell me about that face he said as a man and he only got one eye you should only see one are you [ __ ] to decide are you twenty his other eye is behind this booter pick up his own send will in come the next one he said any distinguishing features on this face you got to see recognized you could have to give evidence in court are you ready and he said they ready you got two seconds to blur what you can’t they’re going to right he said what tell me about it he said as a man and he only got one ear he said you’d only see one ear you woman’s privates he didn’t say that but you know cuz he said he’s fired on and you’d only see Willie income Denzil he said any distinguishing feature you must see recognize you got two seconds to blur but you can he said tell me what you notice about this face are you ready right you got two seconds right he said tell me about that face Devin said there’s a man and he’s wearing contact lenses leave me lounge big list of distinguishing features number 89 we’re in contact lens he said that’s pretty brilliant to observe that in such a short space of time he said you could make a print detective and he’s no good you decipher in such a short space of

time that man is wearing contact lenses he’s a well with only one year he couldn’t wear glasses listen I’m not old lady she’s waiting for me as she is nasty and she’s waiting on the doorstep with a broom and I think I said the wrong thing because I said are you late finishing your cleaning or are you going for flight the please stop any please did they stop me three o’clock this morning and I think when the police go to that youth at school they learn to look like that honey you got mirrors and every part time they verbally they’re ugly but I’ve met one in in Wales when we had that little fall of snow and it was late within the press called Llandrindod Wells and in the national papers he said in Llandrindod Wells is for women to every man and when I got up and seen the women I can see why the men left writes back but the police stopped me said mate I think we’ve had a little thoughtless no you’re driving too fast for the conditions I said officer I’m totally in control a vehicle and I said the four-wheel drive and I said I’ll be okay it’s as supposing you go over the next mountain and you meet mr. Fogg hello mister officer I said if I meet mr. Fogg I put mr. foot on mr. break and eyes are slow down mr. car he’s and I sent mist and fog yet he’s where you going 3 o’clock in the morning I said I’m going to a lecture if you’re not going to lecture 3 o’clock in the morning it’s just sometimes my wife waits up till 4:00 I was really in my book the John Wayne arauco Welch was talking and she said John Wayne she said I’m fed up with everybody telling me how tough you are the matter will you go everybody says that John when he is tough they don’t come any tougher than John Wayne and she said I’m fella Bjorn oh bloody tough you are she’s will you think your bloody tough Conway you think you you watch this and she took a walnut and I don’t have to tell you how tough a walnut is one of the toughest nuts ever and she put the walnut between her tits a bloody war huh she said right watch this if you think you’re tough John you into it ah and she smashes warmer in millions of places and you know that bastard he never looked up she said we you don’t think that’s tough run she said if you you don’t think that’s tough you ignorant bastard you watch this and she slid her knickers down and she took a Brazil nut now that is the toughest nut ever and she put the Brazil nut between the creases of her ass a Brazil nut we aren’t missing around the Brazil nut and you know tough they are and she turned round she said that’s not what you think it is it’s a Brazil nut and she said you think you’re pretty tough you watched us a BISM brazil not you and yabba a plenty brazil top and he smashes brazil not in millions of pizzas and you know that plenty john wayne he never even looked up he just went straight on poking the fire with his prick I brought some condoms home and I said more if I bought some condoms there let the taste of all different things and I said she has that come on we’ll try one of them they’re there they’re lovely tastes and all sorts of different tastes you know and she’ll come try them who wishes I like that cheese and onion I am pulling on yeah I don’t know I tell you what I said here before I don’t think is the wise choice cuz I thought I was there they said now lock your door now your bedroom door and be very careful because Jennifer is 16 and she roams in the night Reshma oh I jammed the door um when’s the door and to make sure I put me out underneath to eat jab I drink 14 cups of coffee gotta twice tip cold water over med and I passed 40 bloody committing the biggest bloody

Labrador I ever seen but then I said oh I brought me and they said this is you and we put a problem with you early morning Cole it was it for upper six there I buy some ice trapper six I said what’s the time now it said quote about stayin in the six it used to see down in Colville you see people H icon all the time I had an old Morris Oxford estranging 101 LAF was a number of that and I come up from bins add some some girls a chai kit well we never had enough petrol so we went on about a mile to the garage filled up the petrol just when I filled up ready to come out of a car turned up by the manor and all these girls so I said do you just pick them girls up each i Ken yes I did I saw want to put a better one in the front I said the one in the front his big jet ugly the red one into the one in the front smile but I run the police last Wednesday I said you better get here somebody’s breaking into my garden Jade and he said sorry mate there’s nobody available I said well bollocks he sprang he stealin me lawn more he gon be no more in his I’m you’ve got to come and arrest him he’s a target can’t can help you nobody available who bollocks like let them go two minutes I’ve run them back I said you know that boy they’re stealing my lawnmower you don’t have to bother to come now cuz he won’t break in anybody else’s yacht because I’ve shot the [ __ ] I’ve shot him on the lawn for a spell one of my finest shots within two minutes I had two helicopters forty in time they closed the street off and the police officers say you’re a bloody liar you told me you shot him I said you tell me is nobody available when last night we are we have Siamese twins come in the barn and last night they always get all so well with it gotta be get on well cuz they’re joined on they pour the litter joined their lovely pair kids in love they were 22 now both of them the same age the last night they sell it and I’ve never known them to fall and all the years becoming on I see you two fellas and bollocks Jim I don’t want to know the baton you got much choice 3d I said why have you fallen out well he said he just told me if turned we’re and we share the same [ __ ] have we any puffs into the night cuz the puffs are arrived in call the puss there was two post and they’re playing golf and then this they drank off the tuples and this American on the next he will he he very sliced off to Z and the end one of these posters right in there is and not the proper tale well he’s mated Brian see what he done to your lovely face look at that ridiculous great deal of on your floor and he blew and your looks Brian you ignorant baton he Anika me son I’m very sorry to have hit the boy he said but he said is he gonna be alright he said we’re gonna sue you for every bloody penny you got it you can kiss my ass he said Brian he’s gonna settle out of court actually them I come with a very poor family and one terrible Christmas it was Christmas Day and mother said when we sat down for Christmas dinner she said now I’ve only a little boy has a little cherub she said when I asked you do you want some Christmas dinner you say no because if you have Christmas dinner we won’t have enough to go around for all the guests I split his starving may I ask was snap another seat and I sat at the end of the table ago and the add Turkey and roast bloody potatoes and spreads and greedy bastards great fantastic Kevin and his mother said would you like some dinner Jeffro I said no kuku let his starvin I was well then she came in with the Christmas pudding I said can I have some Christmas pudding she said no you can’t you never at your dinner one of the locals that are drinking and Chudley as a chapter and he’s always doing this chat you know these speed dating and all that off we was in there couple of Sundays ago and Tony’s name was and he got a black eye if noses crushed he got four teeth missing his arms in a sling and cauliflower ear and he got a stutter

anyway so it this is quite bad for him so I said Tony what happened to her for [ __ ] he said that’s good the girl I met Mary sister spit speed-dating he said last ok I said what happened he said War II so we went we went to Payton Zoo he said feral war walk he said and we was smart smart smiling at each other and oh ho oh man he said there everything was going fine he said now I got a bit brave he said and we was going past a lion enclosure yeah he said and I looked then he said then the lion was nibbling the other Lions earlobe but in said I turned to this girl and I said I lie lie lie lie I liked to do that to you you when we get back to your house he’s of course but by the time I got the words out that the lion was looking the other ones are right I think he likes that group but it was a user character without injury mmm-hmm is called Lily crap I did call the book Lily yeah and his either I caught him I caught him stuck up burner man and Bo McLaughlin in there Joker DZ in court you gotta go to court he wasn’t worried when you yeah what are you Arjun him for they said he’s in court I thought they they said for having an offensive person on his weapon but I did a little show last week it’s for the Alzheimer suffers evening and I got up and I told a joke and it went very very well I thought I’ll try it again 227 times I told sender they were wonderfully new organizer come up me said Jeff Roe how the hell do you remember the whole then I did a little show for the pygmy convention a night of standing ovation and didn’t realize it Japanese just come through in Lansing they’ve crossed an octopus with an asylum seeker he said it looks bloody ridiculous but you want to see it packed shelves we’ve aired last year and the last summer we was very fortunate ladies down but down in Como who do you think come down to see us David Beckham the England captain and his lovely wife and that lovely David Beckham and Victoria come down to Como Lucilla it caught me there it is hey come the weather not a wonderful thing for Cole mullet and there was a horse and David Beckham smooth his horse down and I said the Victoria he’s play good with horses she said I didn’t realize at the door though you’re here why don’t you and he slid up on the back of this horse and walked off well right I said I didn’t realize he could ride a horse he said well he’s my husband I never knew well I never knew then they trot army eroded like a good and you said I said you knock me down with a feather I can’t believe it could you when this all start the gallop he got in the hit he started wobbling the bed and then he ended up hanging all the side of this horse and this is horses bloody flying and he’s holding on the Lord’s his neck but the plenty fool he let the horse’s neck go home but his foot was caught in the stirrup now this horse is plenty flying and his bangin Beckham’s head on the road you see well Victoria she panics he and she screamed for help and the security man come here to Tesco’s and turn the horse off believe them you’ve been fabulous and I thank for coming and being on being in cook align with me tonight I know you’d enjoy being there oh we haven’t offended you and have we ever fended anybody in any way I serious when I say that I couldn’t give a [ __ ] Cubans have a round of applause for you you have

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