My wonderful life just got set on fire I just caught my wife and partner of 10 years cheating I never in my wildest dreams imagined myself looking through this sub let alone contributing to it I am just going to unload here to put this into history for my own good and to perhaps help others along the way It’s a very similar story to others that I have read but maybe there’s some uniqueness to my experience thus far I’m going to lay it out in chunks of events that grew my suspicion and later confirmation This is brand new so forgive the ridiculously lengthy details I put it all in here to document it for myself and to reveal the true situation through my words The final confrontation was last night and I did not sleep a wink Disclaimer this is the worst most-embarrassing thing I’ve ever experienced so I have created a new ID to post it My wife 36F and I 34M have our 7th wedding anniversary coming up in less than two weeks We’ve been together for more than 10 years with no history of fighting separation etc Pure bliss for me laughs family trips growing businesses yard projects two beautiful young boys it’s been a blast Here’s the rundown 1 The new job boss and the first weird night This past year my wife interviewed at a highly-respected long term care facility and was subsequently offered a high up position by the guy who is now her boss Since taking the job she’s talked very highly of this guy and his focus on family success and of course how he believes in her ability to succeed at the company Fast forward a few months and there I sit incredibly suspicious of some recent out of character actions While this new role brings in some out-of-office activities golf fundraisers etc some of the stuff just stunk of something I wasn’t suspecting anything in particular but over time my intuition was screaming that something is wrong with someone or something There was a night in early June where I found myself pacing the house in terror that something happened to my wife while out for drinks and dinner with the co-workers after a golf tournament or something At one point she said she would be home in an hour That came and then another hour and then a third hour Her and I share our locations on our iPhones why Because we have two little boys and figured it can’t hurt to know eachother’s whereabouts and her location was stuck in the same place side of a busy road nowhere near where she said she was going Her phone kept going to voicemail I thought she may have been in an accident Finally on the brink of calling police she calls me to say she is on her way home I tell her how terrified I was and she explained that her phone died and she was in a co-worker’s car without a charger Weird That has never happened before She’s never ever been out late and not checked in with me I attributed it to the brand new job new co-workers and her efforts to fit into the social scene with this new role of hers Her story did add up for the most part The road where her last location before the dead phone’s location was shared wound up being on the way to a restaurant they were supposedly at Still this disconnected behavior had never happened before with her It was just so out of place Fast forward a couple months my wife has become obsessed with her workouts her weight wanting a bigger chest Her morning routine in the bathroom has become longer and longer Keep in mind my wife is far more fit than your average gym-goer She has nothing to worry about She’s absolutely gorgeous 2 Meeting him and the obscure tucked away parking lot A day came in early August where she invited her boss and some co-workers over to my house for some daytime drinks after a race they all ran together I thought to myself I finally get to meet this amazing boss that I hear so much about They arrived and that’s when everything hit me This guy while MUCH older than me is handsome for his age almost 60 but somehow incredibly awkward Not once did he look me in the eye and when I shook his hand it was soaked with sweat That’s when my intuition screamed again steering my suspicions toward him He didn’t stay long and he didn’t interact with my wife He barely said a word to anyone other than to ask me what high school I went to while looking another direction He just basically drank a beer and left Following that the last co-worker to stay winds up inviting his GF and her daughter over After a bunch of drinks my wife was very convincing to invite them over for an impromptu dinner party

That all happened and this guy and his GF left around 8pm Now is the point where everything starts getting narrowed In the days leading up to this morning race with her co-workers my wife had been talking about getting drinks with her friend later that night to celebrate a birthday She was back and forth with wanting to go and then when her coworker left for the day she decided that she was in fact going to go She went upstairs dolled herself up and came down looking awesome She kissed me goodbye and left for a bar on the east side of town Her entire demeanor was incredibly awkward and I had to ask are you OK to drive She said yes I really only had two throughout the day I am not going to be out too late I don’t remember for sure but I think she may have even asked me to wait up for her I put on a movie or something and chilled out Less than an hour went by and I thought it was weird that she never texted me to let me know that she got there Out comes the ol’ Apple location I pulled up her location to see that she made it ok and to my utter confusion her location was showing at work Not exactly the office she works at but a building tucked away across the street from her main building One that I know she has never mentioned working in It took some time to figure out where this was exactly but there was no question My thoughts did she turn around Is she trying to make a call What is she doing there Why was I so suspicious of her boss this morning Why did she decide to go back out That’s not like her Why is she there There is no logical reason for her to have driven west and parked at work She said she is meeting a group for drinks on the east side of town completely unrelated to any of her coworkers She comes home not long after awkwardly over smiling as she greets me on the couch She was gone for a total of an hour max I am still not completely sure what is going on She keeps telling me how much she loves me She hops on top of me and we make love For a split a second during this I actually thought to myself is it possible that she was just with someone else and less than 10 minutes ago No way I convince myself that she was out of sorts and parked in that lot to make a call or something DUMB I KNOW 3 The kids’ new friend Over the next few weeks into July things seem fine and I somehow put # 2 above in the back of my mind Our sons have been going to summer camp surprisingly enough on the campus where she works Some intense issues at her job either required me to pick up kids or she would have her co-workers guess who watch them for a few minutes I learned of the many times that this boss of hers had my kids in his office giving them snacks and letting them play on his computer They actually got to know him She mentioned how much she loved the support of this new team 4 THE HOTEL We take a week to go away to the beach with my wife’s family We spend everyday on the beach my wife and I took the kids on bike rides It was pretty good We both jump back into a hectic work week starting off with my wife asking if I can pick up the kids mid-week so that she can go out with her co-workers I was kind of thrown off by this because it was our eldest son’s first day of Kindergarten and we had just got back from vacation I thought it really weird that she would put a work outing over being with her son after his school on his 1st day She said that one of her female coworkers was having a tough time in a divorce and wanted to organize a little golf outing followed by dinner/drinks to catch the first preseason football game What I thought to be really weird was that during the week we were at the beach this plan also included her female co-worker grabbing a hotel because she lives far away My wife said that she was thinking about catching up with her there before golf because of the rough stuff she was going through I think this is really strange but keep my thoughts inside I agree to pick up our kids so she can do this Now keep in mind I pick my kids up at an after school program AT MY WIFE’S PLACE OF WORK I don’t mind getting them but this was a little strange since they are at her work and within a few minutes from our house I work 40 minutes away so it was a little inconvenient given that I would have to leave my business early to get the kids on our first week back The day comes We take pictures in the morning for my son’s first day of Kindergarten Together We walk him down together she’s rushing because she doesn’t want to be late for work I have a video of this on my phone actually We have been talking about this day for the entire end of pre-school and throughout the summer Here it is and my wife is

being weird not herself She is usually so invested in stuff like this We see him walk into his class and I can barely keep up with my wife on the walk back to our house She is like this normally but I thought she would take exception to her son’s 1st day We got back and she was in her car and off to work seemingly frantic Later in the day I barely get out of my business in time to be on-time for the 45 minute drive to get the kids There’s a temporary road shut down for construction Then there’s heavy unusual traffic on the highway I am running late Everything is against me As I sit in traffic my mind starts to race This makes no sense Why would she have me get the kids It was our eldest’s 1st day of school Why is she out tonight Doesn’t she want to see him and be together I panic because this is also our sons’ first day at the after school program and I know I am going to be late at this point I call my wife She doesn’t answer She knows I am picking the kids up Why would she ignore my call We are in this together Wait she’s going to a hotel before golf WTF Am I stupid Yes it sounds that way Nothing is going on I feel so weird In traffic I pull out the phone again hating what’s become of me and this location thing Her location a hotel in the city where she works and we live further from the golf course than one would expect God there is no way that she is there with her boss If she is I bet they are all there and they are at the bar getting drinks but why at a hotel I call the aftercare number because I can’t get a hold of my wife who is currently at a hotel with her female co-worker The after school person says no need to panic the kids will be fine Just take your time and get here when you can I get closer and closer to getting off the highway and on toward the direction of my wife’s work where the aftercare program is Now coincidentally my GPS has me getting off RIGHT NEAR THE ONRAMP BY THIS HOTEL SHE IS AT As I continue closing on the ramp 10 minutes late for picking up my kids and stupidly watching my wife’s location while driving and debating whether or not I have the guts to just be 5 more minutes late jump off to the hotel and confirm my fears Her location starts moving and she’s leaving And by some wild stroke of dumbfounded chance of traffic jams 45 minutes away the particular hotel and the route my GPS has me on to exit the highway to get OUR kids she drives by the opposite direction getting onto the highway Panicking at the opportunity to catch something I don’t see her car or the car that I know her boss drives remember he’s been to my house and has met me I am trying not to drive off the highway at this point Dammit I missed She went right by me God help me if this is real My heart is racing just recalling this moment She must’ve been in a room for an hour Denial and guilt set in I feel awful for tracking her but try to justify it in my mind through the horrible feelings inside of me What is happening to me I pick the kids up 10 minutes late still frazzled as to why my wife wouldn’t answer but in absolute terror at the fact there’s now a chance this could be really happening She still hadn’t called me back My kids feel so dependent in my hands and I am terrified for them I finally hear from her after the kids and I are home eating I think I sent her a picture of all of us hanging out with our shirts off Her response gosh I love you guys Before bed the kids and I FaceTime her which is not something we typically do I was kind of thinking I should so she can’t avoid showing me who she’s with She answers and they are at a bar but her boss isn’t there is seems Phew maybe she really was at the hotel with her female coworker Then one of my kids asks where is so and so You know the guy that gives them snacks when they visit the office Camera pans and there he is grinning waiving at my kids We say goodnight and I put the kids down She finally comes home an hour or so later She is so thankful that I was able to get the kids take care of them make them dinner put them down etc She tells me how much she loves me and we have some real good romance I feel so messed up I feel violated 5 The Smoking Gun Three days later my wife and I are waking up in bed on a Sunday morning We have plans to take the kids hiking for the day My wife immediately rolls over to her phone but I

don’t think anything of it She quickly gets out of the house for her routine early morning run I walk downstairs and turn on her iPad which just so happens to be one of the devices we share for music Coincidentally an update ran the night before but I don’t know if this has anything to do with what’s next As I am opening Apple music to put some early morning tunes on a text message notification pops up I had not seen this on this iPad before It was an emoji-filled message from her boss reading something like Good morning bae it’s a beautiful day for a run I tap it without thinking It opens up a subsequent message revealing that my wife actually texted him as soon as she woke up I panicked and deleted the message WTF was I thinking Either way I now see the smoking gun and fear distrust disgust and violation set in My wife returns from her run and I am angry but I don’t yell I repeat his text message to her in my own words She is confused and definitely weirded out I take her hand and walk her into our dining room sit her down and put my eyes 6 inches from hers ME What is going on with you and your boss HER What I nothing He’s my boss He’s almost 60 years old SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE’S SEEN A GHOST ME We have two beautiful boys in the other room What are you doing I explain the text messages HER Nothing I swear ‘Bae’ is just something we all call each other and he and I are in a friendly apple watch competition I told him I was going to run I SWEAR nothing is going on I walk away I am thinking that I shouldn’t have said anything I should have held it together let the text messages keep rolling in and get my confirmation from something that WON’T LIE to me But I don’t want to keep spying and sneaking I am desperate for her to just come clean We awkwardly drive to our hike She’s weird the whole way obviously We finish a pretty long quiet hike with the kids They pass out on the ride back and I bring the morning text message up to her again I tell her that it is deleting me and the fact that someone texted her first thing on a Sunday morning tells me what’s on the mind She immediately agrees how bad it appears obviously having thought about it the whole day She isn’t denying that She does deny that anything is going on however Meanwhile the hotel in # 4 is still burning a whole in the side of my skull Later that night we talk about the text message again over a bottle of wine I thought it might bring more out No luck just more denial and reassurance of no wrong-doing Almost three weeks later 6 Confirmation I wake up this past Saturday with a gut-wrenching visions of my wife with someone else and on the morning of one of the biggest events my company hosts all year I can’t shake the thoughts despite the brevity of the day ahead The hotel incident has been deleting me for weeks My wife leaves for the gym with our kids something we used to do together and I leave for work In the chaos of setting up what should be a huge successful event at my business all this stuff is boiling within me I feel so messed up I want to leave and be home with my family to prove that I don’t work too much to prove that I love them and want the best for them Then I try to do something I’ve been wanting to do for almost 3 weeks I CALL THE HOTEL Praying and praying that if I am given any kind of information that it reveals her female co-worker was indeed the one who booked the room I HANG UP on the second ring On second thought I didn’t want to know or did I already know I had to get back to work This whole day by the way my wife is with the kids Day ends I feel wrong that I don’t hurry back to her despite maybe having a chance of getting home in time to see her before bed Sunday morning We have plans to go to her brother’s for football I have to run into work not typical on weekends to deal with some aftermath of the event from the day before She leaves for the gym with plans to pick me up at my business so we can ride to her brother’s together I start packing up and then look over at her iPad It was practically screaming at me DO IT MAYBE THERE’S SOMETHING THERE I open her iPad and sit down I feel so wrong doing this but I also know that I’ve somehow been so much more wronged than anything I’m about to do She had since figured out how to sign out of iCloud and stop texts from coming in so no luck there but an obvious sign of hiding something I look at her boss’ contact

card and see she was sharing her location on/off with him the night before WTF I open her photo stream nothing weird there I scroll down the albums I open Deleted Photos Here we go Underwear photos THE DAY AFTER we returned from the beach vacation and the morning before her return to work I can only assume she sent them to her boss because I didn’t get them This is far out of her typical safe zone so now the intensity and level of their relationship is starting to hit me And then I see what appears as an accidental screenshot that she took of a text exchange with her boss the day before the HOTEL The gist is how they are planning to have lunch or something together mixed into a swath of hearts with the kicker from the boss I’ve been waiting to see you since last Friday when you left I’m waiting for you babe I look in her browsing history on her iPad I see a Google search for how to say one more day in spanish searched for the day of the panty pictures and the day before we returned to work It reminded of how she would flirt with me back when we started out more than 10 years ago Someone else gets to experience that now I am absolutely convinced at this point and the 2 months of my denying and avoiding the obvious have no more fight in this My life is about to change forever I drive to my business and she meets me there later as planned with the kids We hang out for a bit but I am still in shock She knows something is wrong and keeps asking We drive to her brother’s almost silently The whole visit is incredibly awkward because I am just stewing in this realization attempting to process while she sits there seemingly terrified of what’s to come I text a partner of mine A gentlemen I am involved in business with and who happens to be a partner at one of the area’s most-reputable law firms He’s known as one of the top divorce attorneys in the state Hey maybe he can help He calls me right away and I step outside I walk him through as much as I can stutter out in a panic He calms me down and tells me that the only thing to do is to get her alone and put all the cards on the table In the end it doesn’t matter how they got there what matters is what’s on them 7 Partial Confession and where I am right now After speaking with my attorney we eventually head back home Nothing is said The tension is impossible Finally after I am sure the kids are asleep I sit and wait in the kitchen I ask her as I did in # 5 where is our marriage headed I state that her and her boss have something going on and from the information I now have it is indisputable She kind of breaks down but no tears Before admitting anything she immediately begins saying that she has felt disconnected from me this summer Ya think The first incident here completely out of character happened in the first week of June These have been monthly all summer and since she started working with this guy She goes on to say that they spend time together Nothing admitted I ask the questions point blank Have you had romance with him No of course not Has anything happened No I ask again She finally admits they kissed I let this set in I ask her where She fumbles around her mind but I can tell it’s pretend She says after work I ask again Where She can’t get it out I say Were you at a hotel Yes Was he there Yes Was your co-worker there No So you went to a hotel with your boss and kissed Yes But that’s it Nothing else happened Well what else did you do then We talked We talked about all of this Adults don’t kiss They have romance You didn’t go to the hotel to kiss She doesn’t deny this but she denies anything further happening She says that she couldn’t do it She just couldn’t bring herself to doing it Like it actually matters now We went back and forth about this with no yelling or shouting just awful The entire time she is saying I WANT YOU I WANT THIS I WANT US I don’t know what the hell I was doing She admits that despite some disconnect caused by her she will come to learn there was nothing significantly wrong with our marriage We vacationed made love grew our children dated etc After about 30 minutes it all hit me like a ton of bricks Wait You asked me to leave my job early to pick up our children from the after school program at the very place you work at with this guy so that you could leave work early to go to a hotel

with him where you two planned to have romance And on our son’s first day of Kindergarten I actually left that part out I recall the text message from # 6 He has been waiting for her They planned to have romance I recall the old # 2 but I fail to bring it up I recall the hotel being mentioned while on vacation the week before THIS WAS IN THE WORKS while we sat on the beach together with her family IT WAS NOT SPUR OF THE MOMENT The conversation goes nowhere but further into this new hell that I have just inhabited the last place on earth I want to be We go to bed She cuddles me and its disgusting I feel infected violated ruined and motionless It stops I lie awake for 3 hours then hop onto the internet desperately searching for success stories where couples come back from this THERE ARE NONE It’s all about how to realize the situation how it will never work again and that it’s time to move on regardless of money kids love history Just AWFUL hopeless I start contemplating divorce then realize I am 5 hours into a sleepless night just hit by a freight train and not a clean thought in my head She wakes and asks me what I am doing and I don’t have much to say Then I ask her about # 2 finally which would confirm my earliest suspicions and nullify her claims that this just started I tell her that I knew her car was at that facility She admitted to meeting with him and said that they only talked in the car I can only imagine Another detail left out and a revelation that this is much more longstanding Morning She hops in the shower and I completely break down I held it together all through the night but I just imploded as soon as I sat up I finally noticed one of my son’s was up and on the potty in the other room he’s been doing a great job training and I feared that he heard me weeping I wipe my eyes walk into the bathroom to see if he needs help and for the first time in my life my knees gave out completely I dropped to the floor and sobbed in front of him The sight of one of our innocent sons completely oblivious in all his perfect moldable youth just wrecked me Who can be so careless so completely narcissistically motivated that this beautiful child we are responsible for could be forgotten for some meaningless romance My other son comes in and sees his father sobbing on his knees holding his youngest What in the hell has happened to my life It all just changed in an instant I held those boys so tight as I realized the tables had turned I’ve held them so many times as they cried but this was the first time those little boys held me What a dramatic moment but it felt good to know that while I’ve lost her I still have them Finally I pull it together and go downstairs to make coffee She has no idea what I am going to do At one point in the middle of the sleepless night from hell I said that I am beginning to think that I can’t get over this That everything we have built together is for nothing I hinted at divorce but I have no clue what to do We somehow ate breakfast together with our children awkwardly trying to come to grips with the unknown ahead of us Afterwards my wife and I embraced We held each other tight and sobbed without the kids seeing She knows how severe this is I saw her off to work with our youngest and I said that it would take a miracle to fix this I have no trust whatsoever and it is going to be incredibly difficult to grow that again It took 10 years for us to get this far and we just drove off a cliff She again said she wants nothing more than our children our marriage and our life She is going to have to pull me out of hell I walk my eldest son down to his school where he had just started kindergarten 3 weeks prior on the day my wife planned her hotel romance trip with her boss It took every ounce of energy I had left to not start sobbing like a fool again I watched this beautiful little being reluctantly run off into the playground checking to make sure I was still there every few steps He loves me so much I watched all the parents coming in some together and holding hands I can’t believe what my life has become in the last 12 hours UPDATE I completely failed to mention that my wife said she has been struggling with this for a while it’s only been a couple of weeks since the last known incident at the hotel so not that long She says that she has canceled an upcoming business trip to California with HIM that I have absolutely been dreading She also said that she is withdrawing from the program that has required her to work closely with him They will be on opposite ends of

the building None of this really means much to me AND HERE I STAND The thought of splitting up is more painful to me than the thought of living with this right now I can’t focus I can’t work I can’t eat Do I let the dust settle Do we try to make this work Is counseling worth a shot How can I possibly trust her ever again This was the cruelest thing ever done to me It’s a life-ruining thing happening without any awareness of that How can we possibly be in love She says that she loves me Are the months of lies and deceit worse than the acts She definitely had romance with this guy right Of course There is no way she can prove otherwise Does she need to see a psychiatrist How did I miss this This is not the person I married or the person I know and love Where did this reckless fool come from Do I tell the boss’ wife Do I tell her parents whom I am close with Do I inform her work Hey guys, please like, comment, and subscribe! It would really help me out, thanks! Negotiate a favorable divorce settlement asap while she’s still in the affair fog She isn’t the person you thought she was This is who/what she is Yes Get the divorce done while she’s apologetic You can always date her later if she can earn you back She’s lied to you consistently Yes she had romance with him obviously No its not your fault She knew you well enough to hide it She’s remorseful she got caught and now there will be consequences You should tell the other guys wife she deserves to know you should tell your friends and family because you and your kids need support As for staying with your wife On the basis of what you’ve described I think it would be an enormous mistake This is not some ONS where’s she’s come begging forgiveness the next day This is a planned and calculated affair which she has concealed and denied until the evidence was inescapable In my view you should divorce her and use whatever shame or hope of reconciliation she has to get good terms for you and the kids She’s not who you thought she was She’s a risk to you and your children She’s destroyed your family Don’t take the misery and uncertainty of trying to make it work with someone you know you can’t trust Take the pain now and rebuild your life without her in it You now owe her nothing I’m so sorry this happened to you man It’s terrible You sound like an absolutely amazing father For what it’s worth Thank you so much That means a lot Girlfriend of four years cheats on me with my best friend Hey guys long time lurker first time poster so apologies for the long story and any errors in formatting Also a throwaway as almost everyone involved in this particular incident are on Reddit So as the title suggests I had my stupid heart put through a meat grinder by my now ex girlfriend and ex best friend A bit of backstory I met my ex when I was 19 and everything was seemingly perfect She was kind caring and seemed like the perfect human being Always telling me how much she loves me and I’m everything she asked for and so on A few days into our relationship I introduce her to my best friend a guy whom I’ve known forever we were born a month apart and had been inseparable since we were toddlers they meet and everything went perfect He told me that we were perfect for each other and he’d be there for us As the time went on they started to get to know each other as my best friend and I would always hang out and they became good friends I was happy that they were getting on so well and everything was perfect Fast forward four years it was all going good or so I had thought My girlfriend started to become a little distant not answering calls not replying to texts or replying with one word answers the works I was baffled as we hadn’t had a fight as well given we had arguments but those were mostly silly issues like who ate the last slice of pizza Not just her my best friend also started ignoring me Every time I asked him to meet he had a reason to not come around either saying he was busy or he was already elsewhere This went on for a few a while and I started to suspect something was wrong but I brushed it off thinking I was being stupid But boy was I in for a surprise Today I was running errands and I had to take a different route than the one I generally travel once I finish my errands I hop on my motorbike and as I am passing through I see my friend’s motorbike in the parking lot I

give him a call and ask him where he is he tells me that he is with his sister at her place we make small talk and hang up so that was a lie I look around and I spot him in the local park he had on a custom jacket I bought him for his birthday last year What was odd was that he was with a girl He wasn’t dating anyone I move closer and out of sight and that was the biggest mistake I ever made I see him cuddling with my girlfriend and kissing her I watch for a while and decided to confront them So I walk up to the park bench they were sitting on and ask them if I could join in on the fun They reaction was that of deer in headlights They don’t say anything for a bit and I decide to break the silence I ask them how long this was going on and why First they try to deny everything and try to chalk it all up to a misunderstanding but when I tell them I saw everything and to cut the crap he starts apologising I ask them once more and he tells me that they’ve been having an affair for the past two years they wanted to tell me but didn’t have the courage to And she had the gall to tell me that it was only an emotional affair earlier and they only started having s x a few months ago she then tried to say something but I just held up my hand and got up I was fuming I wanted to punch him but the only thing that came out of my mouth was Nice And I stormed off got on my motorbike and went straight home Once I was home the gravity of the situation dawned on me and I just broke this was the man whom I considered my brother who’s been with me all my life and the girl with whom I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with and they did this After a couple of hours both of them started blowing up my phone with calls and messages apologising and asking me to let them explain I am not responding to either of them as I don’t have the mental strength to talk to them now and might end up saying or doing something I’d regret later I don’t know what to do everything feels meaningless was everything a lie I don’t understand anything which is why I’m here a broken man who was stabbed in the back by the two people who he trusted the most in life and up until a few hours ago would’ve given my life for Any advise would be helpful You found out she is not marriage material Toss her stuff on the curb Don’t listen to her explanation as it will be more lies She will try to make herself innocent Who knows what BS your ex friend will try to invent Her belongings will promptly be returned by supervision of a friend as I can’t bear to see her face again at least for now It doesn’t matter what lies they try to spin now the trust and respect I had towards them is by their own hands forfeit

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