– We’re like feeling around the couch and the floor and the table, trying to find the phone together And I just looked at him and I was like, “his is our first blind moment together.” (upbeat music) Look who it is Little Lavender is back there joining for the video I’m sure she won’t stay the whole time, but welcome Lavender We’re all so happy to have you I am so happy to have all of you here hanging out with me, (Lavender’s bell ringing) and I am so happy to have Squarespace as the sponsor of today’s video Squarespace is the perfect one-stop shop for building a beautiful online presence All right, so a few weeks ago, I asked over on my Twitter for you guys to send in questions for another good old fashioned Q and A video And you did not disappoint Over a hundred of you submitted questions So thank you so much for being so interested in my life It’s certainly been uninteresting for the last six months in quarantine So hopefully this video will be interesting We’ll see I also asked over on my Patreon, my Killer Bee club, for people to submit questions over there So I’m gonna be pulling from both Twitter, as well as my Patreon You wanna join my Patreon Killer Bee club? We have a lot of fun We go live every single weekend There’s Discord, there’s private merch, merch discounts, lots of fun stuff, early announcements, so, yeah, check that out And without further ado, let’s get into the first question (whooshing) Question number one is actually about my boyfriend, Adrian, not about myself And that is, (popping) “Has he ever had a guide dog or does he ever want one?” He has never had a guide dog Actually, it was really funny ’cause on our first date, the first day we ever met, obviously Gallop was there And that became an easy talking point right off the bat And one of the first things we talked about is how he had applied six months prior to get his first guide dog and was denied getting a guide dog And honestly, it’s for the best ’cause he told me what school he applied to, and I’m not gonna say it out loud, but in my opinion, it’s one of, if not the worst, guide dog school Like I just haven’t been impressed with any of the dogs I’ve seen from the school So I was like, “It’s for the best that they denied you “We’ll find a better one in the future.” So a guide dog is definitely something he would consider Although now, we’re kind of like, hmm, because if he got a guide dog, guide dogs are always trained to walk on the left And so we’d both always have our left hands occupied, which means we couldn’t hold hands when we walk And of course, being young and in love, we enjoy being able to hold hands when we walk places And also, I feel like we’d always have to walk like in a line because to be four wide on a sidewalk, like (popping) dog, (popping) human, (popping) dog, (popping) human would be really wide And even like when we think about the struggles of access, which is one of us having a guide dog getting in an Uber or Lyft, or like going into a grocery store, two of us having service dogs would just be like Obviously it’s not impossible I know couples where both partners have a guide dog, and it’s something we’ve talked about maybe in the future, but right now just doesn’t feel like the right time So currently he’s not looking at getting a guide dog super soon or anything – [Mom] I think Gallop likes sharing himself around – Yeah, Gallup feels like he has double the purpose now – [Mom] And Lavender helps out too – She does her best (whooshing) Next question “What did my parents think about me “getting a guide dog at 13?” They were super, super supportive They were really excited We actually got a family pet dog when I was eight-years-old named Rory And the reason my parents got that dog is because I was afraid of dogs and they wanted me to get comfortable around a dog so that one day I would have the opportunity to get a guide dog, should I want one So they were very supportive of it and it definitely made them feel more confident and secure that I was gonna be safe and I could be more independent out and about in the world (whooshing) “What was the first blind girl moment “that your boyfriend saw and how did he react?” This is a good one So it’s funny because I wouldn’t say I had a blind girl moment in front of him before we had a blind couple moment together So it was our second date and we were at his apartment And we were sitting on the couch in the living room, and I went to go grab my phone to check what time it was or something And I couldn’t find my phone So then the two of us being super blind, we’re like feeling around the couch and the floor and the table trying to find the phone together And I just looked at him and I was like, “This is our first blind moment together.” So that was our first blind moment And it was just, it was just like cute and funny, ’cause we were just in it together It wasn’t like me being blind and him helping me It was just like us being blind together and figuring it out together (whooshing) “How did I gain the confidence to speak “to hundreds of people?” I assume this means as a public speaker, like live on stages It’s so funny because as a public speaker, I always hear people say like, “Oh my God, I’d rather die than speak in public “Public speaking is my biggest fear.” But for me, I kind of had a headstart because I’ve been public speaking since I was five-years-old So it’s like, I didn’t develop the fear because I never learned it was something to be afraid of And I think fear is in some ways a learned behavior Like a lot of the current fears that I have in life were learned behaviors I have a really bad medical phobia I have that medical phobia due to a childhood of going to hospitals and having painful tests, and being poked and prodded by doctors, and stuff like that

So that was like a learned fear Whereas with public speaking, I never learned to fear it So that’s one way in which I just kind of had a headstart in life for that But I think also it’s just kind of who I would be I grew up dreaming of being an actress and working in Hollywood And so from the time I stepped on a stage for the first time and spoke in public, I begged my parents to put me in acting classes And I did 10 years of stage performance and improv Really, a large focus of my acting classes was on improv And that’s the biggest thing that I would suggest to people who have a fear of public speaking If you wanna become more confident, take improv classes Because improv really teaches you that there’s like, no isn’t an option You can’t fail You just have to keep on going, push through no matter what So when you’re really skilled at improvisation, you know that you can get on stage and completely (clapping) forget your script, go off topic, something can go wrong with the mic, or the lighting, or whatever it is, and you’re gonna be fine and you can push through because you can rely on your improv skills So that is my biggest suggestion The other thing I will say is, to be honest, the larger the audience, the easier it is And I think any professional speaker or person who speaks in public a lot would tell you that When I speak to crowd of 20,000, it’s a heck of a lot easier than when I speak to a crowd of 20 Because when you’re speaking to an audience of 20, you’re just really hoping one person will laugh at your joke But when there’s 20,000 people, chances are at least 500 will laugh at your joke Or when you’re speaking to 20, you’re really bringing them the energy You’re giving them all of your energy Whereas when there’s 20,000 people, there’s so much energy for you to soak up from the audience So that definitely makes it easier as well So if you’re scared to speak in front of 200 people for the first time, honestly, it’s probably easier than speaking in like, doing a high school assignment and presenting to your class of 30 (whooshing) This person was wondering if my guide dog Gallop ever guides my boyfriend because he’s also blind So like if I don’t need Gallop, could Adrian take Gallop to the grocery store and be guided by him And no, that is definitely a big no-no You cannot let another person use your guide dog There’s moments like at the dog park that is attached to our apartment building, I’ve had Gallop, like Adrian, hold the harness and take five steps with him But no, you wouldn’t let your guide dog fully guide another person It gets between the bond that you and the guide dog have It confuses the dog as to what his job is, and who he’s supposed to help Yeah, so no, definitely guide dogs, like it’s a rule that guide dog schools tell you, you’re not allowed to let somebody else guide your dog or your dog guide somebody else Especially because my dog is trained to guide me My dog hasn’t been trained to guide another person And so my dog is used to guiding me And guiding another person is a totally different experience and vibe And so it might be dangerous And Adrian isn’t trained to work with Gallop so he might not know what to do and it might be dangerous So for all of those reasons, definitely not He’ll take him for walks off harness though (whooshing) “What was Gallop’s reaction when he met “my boyfriend for the first time?” Honestly, my mom can attest to the fact that Gallop has always loved men in their 20s and 30s, hasn’t he? – Always – Just obsessed Like my brother, my best friend Brayden Any guy he meets that’s in his 20s and 30s, he’s like, “This is the one, Mom, this is the one “I love this guy, I love this guy “He’s so fun and I love him.” And I think he just gets so sick of being with my mom and I all the time, that he loves that male energy So he loves Adrian so much All the time during the day when Adrian’s sitting at his desk working in the office, I’ll go to find Gallop and Gallop is sleeping at his feet under the desk (Mom laughing) Like, yeah, they’re really Gallop is not a licker He doesn’t give kisses, all the time, like we’ll be snuggling in bed and Gallop will be in between the two of us and he’ll start licking Adrian And I’m like – That doesn’t happen – I know! I’m like, “‘Scuse me, hello!” – That’s shocking – I know – Oh Molly – It’s like I’m chopped liver Actually, if I was chopped liver, he probably would lick me (laughing) (whooshing) “What was it like knowing that you were “gonna go blind such a young age?” So this is a tough one My family was transparent with me from a very young age So I grew up knowing that I had a rare disease that affected my vision, that I couldn’t see the way everybody else could see, that I was going to continue to lose my vision, that one day I would be blind I knew all of these things I learned how to say retinitis pigmentosa when I was like five or six-years-old So I grew up very aware, mainly because– – Remember those piggies? It was a little pig, the black and white pig – Yes, in Canada, there was this company called Telus that would sell these little black and white pig stuffed animals to fundraise for research for retinitis pigmentosa Yeah, I remember those, they were very cute – [Mom] They’re so cute Yeah, they called them pigmentosa? – Yeah – It was so cute – The pigmentosas And I remember learning to pronounce it at my friend’s house and just laughing like, “Pig man, pig man.” And so I remember that very vividly And really, my parents told me because I asked, you know? I was a little kid, but I knew things were different I knew that I was going to a very special hospital and the other kids in my class weren’t going I knew that I had a special teacher

that the other students didn’t have I understood those things I knew that I was different And so I asked like, “Why am I different?” And they told me, and I’m glad they did, but there’s no way to truly emotionally prepare Like, yes, I went to therapy for a bit as a kid prior to my vision loss But none of that prepped me for going blind And I know this sounds morbid, but the only way I can really think to compare it is the fact that we ultimately know that more likely than not, our parents will die before us But knowing that they’ll die before us doesn’t help us grieve quicker, right? We’re not prepping emotionally for them to pass We’re not thinking about it, overcoming it, working through those feelings No, you have no idea how you’re gonna cope, deal, how you’re gonna feel until the passing has occurred And then you start the grieving process And so that was what it was like for me It’s like I knew that this was gonna happen, but knowing didn’t mean I could emotionally prep or understand it even So then when I did go blind, that’s when it hit me, and I had to mourn and grieve and overcome, and find this new identity and move forward with my life And that’s when I really understood the impact that being blind would have (whooshing) “What’s my favorite type of dessert?” I am definitely a chocolate girl I don’t like chewy candies I don’t like gummy candy, sucky candies I’m not a candy, sweet, sweet person If I was to have a sweet like that, it would be something sour like sour keys, (popping) or Sour Patch Kids or sour gummy worms But as like a real dessert, my absolute favorites are a chocolate lava cake with fresh homemade whipped cream – [Mom] Oh! – Right? So like one of those chocolate cakes, and then you cut into it And the milky chocolate on the inside – [Mom] I wanna go out right now and get one – Mm, (clapping) so good And then I love chocolate milkshakes, are definitely my guilty pleasure food I love a chocolate milkshake just like a good old cheap, fast food chocolate milkshake I don’t like to get fancy with it, okay? Like give me a McDonald’s chocolate milkshake That’s what I want So yeah, I’m a big chocolate girl for sure Yeah, I would say that’s my fave (whooshing) “What is my Starbucks order? God, oh, I have so many Lately I’ve been just going with the simple tall, extra hot, soy, no foam latte I’m not a huge (popping) pumpkin spice (buzzer buzzing) latte fan I will admit I don’t really like the pumpkin spice thing At least from Starbucks It tastes too like synthetic to me I don’t know Maybe I’ll give it a go this year Give it a try again Over my Instagram (popping) I’ll do like a Story or something, giving it a try See how I feel about it, if things have changed I also love (popping) a green tea latte, soy, extra hot, no foam always, but I prefer them in Canada They’re not as sweet I love (popping) a Soy London fog If I don’t want caffeine and I need something comforting, I get (popping) steamed soy milk with a shot of hazelnut And that is super delicious (whooshing) “Would I ever move back to Toronto?” I love Toronto, it will always be my home I think it’s like best food in the world I think it’s a really cool city And I like visiting I don’t think I would ever move back there full-time The weather is like, it really affects me So the weather is like a big reason And also for me, to be honest, I just have a lot of trauma built into that place for me Like there are certain areas that just bring up really negative flashbacks for me And I think for my mental health, it’s not a good place, between like the way the weather affects my mental health, and just a lot of the trauma that I experienced in that city I think it would be hard for me to live there full-time again But I do love visiting If I moved back to Canada, I think I’ve always maintained the place I would go in Canada would be (popping) Vancouver because it’s still really close to Los Angeles So I could get back here for work really easily It’s still the West Coast chill out vibes, and it is like, yeah, it’s rainy a lot, but it’s not snowy So I’d probably take rain over snow, to be honest So yeah, probably Vancouver would be the part of Canada I would move to Great sushi too (whooshing) This is a question I get asked so much (popping) “Where did I get the fluffy purple blanket and fluffy purple pillow that are behind me in every video?” I got them at Pottery Barn Teen, (popping) pbteen.com, (popping) #notsponsored (whooshing) Holly from my Patreon asked, “How am I dealing with everything “going on in the world right now?” COVID, L.A. fires, all of these things And honestly, it’s been a struggle I’m like, I’m going to be fully real It’s more, we’ve been more than six months in quarantine now L.A. is a true hot spot for the virus spreading And it’s scary I’m very lucky to have my mom, Lavender, and Gallop, my boyfriend I’m certainly very fortunate that I can keep working, making content for you guys Even if I’m not able to do the full-scale of what I used to do for work like traveling, do meet and greets, doing speeches at events, that kind of thing, I’m still able to do this And I’m very grateful for that, but all in all, like it’s hard, right? We’re all adjusting to a new reality And I think at first it was almost novel It was like, “Oh wow, I haven’t gotten to take a break “and some time off in a really long time.” I’ve been traveling full-time for eight years This is kind of like a much-needed break for me But now I’m like, “Okay, I’m ready to get back

to real life and not be scared to go outside.” Especially with poor air quality here It was like over a week where the sky was just pure gray smoke It smelled smoky out And the weather was calling for pure sun, blue skies So it was scary – [Mom] And then there was the earthquake – And then we had a really bad earthquake There was six gunshots fired at the building next door to me Honestly, like a lot of stuff – Domestic violence – Yeah There’s been some domestic violence that I’m trying to figure out how to cope with, with a neighbor that I very sadly, my boyfriend and I have to overhear and it’s heartbreaking And we’ve called the police, and we’ve spoken to the building, and we’re doing what we can But that’s very disturbing to listen to a fellow woman have to face that, it’s really painful So to be honest, all of these things are kind of like when it was just COVID, it was one thing, but now it’s like the L.A. fires, COVID, the gunshots next door, domestic violence, overhearing that, the really bad earthquake Like it just all happened in one week And it’s like, feels like a lot, to be honest, and it all coincided with me PMSing as well And I lost three major work opportunities that I was working towards that I was really excited about, all in one day And like I said, I’m grateful to still be working, but my work has slowed down and my income is drastically going down as well, which is why I am so grateful to have sponsors like Squarespace truly because it is tough times And I’m again, so fortunate that I’m doing better than many And I recognize that, but it is still scary times, and it is still a new reality that I have to adjust to that’s very different than my old reality So I’m coping, but there’s ups and downs, right? And that’s life And I think sometimes, to be honest, I posted about this on my Instagram a while back, but sometimes I feel scared, to be honest, when I’m struggling with an insecurity or I’m feeling a little bit negative or I have self-doubt because a lot of you look to me for motivation or inspiration of overcoming mental illness, learning self-love and all of these things And yes, those are such important parts of my journey, which is why I feel so passionate about sharing them with all of you to help, hopefully, empower you to feel those things as well But that doesn’t mean that I don’t still slip, right? A journey means there’s ups and downs And I have downs too, and that’s real, and that’s human, and that’s life And I wanna be able to share those with you to show you that you can go down and you can come back up again, time and time again And it’s okay to fall, but you just have to keep getting back up And that’s what I’m doing right now I’ve fallen a little bit and I’m working towards getting back up and that’s okay I forgive myself I forgive myself for feeling insecure Sometimes I forgive myself for the self-doubts that I have sometimes with the negative thoughts And you should too because we’re in an unprecedented time You know, this is not normal And it’s okay for all of us to struggle Even if we recognize the ways in which we are privileged, even if we still have gratitude, it’s okay to also slip and feel sad or to cry or to question things or to feel angry, it’s okay It’s a journey, life is a journey And so I hope you can recognize that when I do share those insecurities or doubts with you, it’s because I’m human, and I wanna show you that it’s okay to feel those things All emotions are valid (whooshing) Carrie from my Patreon asked, “What is the first thing “I wanna do when the world, quote, ‘goes back to normal?'” I don’t think we’ll ever go back to what it used to be I think it’s gonna be a new normal and that’s okay, right? Maybe the world needed a kick in the butt to move to the next phase of life So once things do get a little safer, maybe once we have a vaccine in place and the world opens up, borders open up, I would like to see my family I miss my dad I miss my brother So that would be the first thing for sure is to travel to see my family It’s very hard We haven’t seen my dad in seven months and we haven’t seen my brother in even longer And it’s hard because we used to see my dad every six weeks for 10 days at a time We used to see my brother every couple months So it’s been really tough My brother lives in (popping) London, England My dad lives in (popping) Toronto, Canada My mom and I live here in (popping) Los Angeles So that’s been definitely weighing on me emotionally as well, for sure So that would be what I would like to do Comment below and let me know what you would like to do What is number one on your list, the thing that you miss doing in like real life? (whooshing) Like I said, during these challenging times, I am very grateful to still be able to work with amazing sponsors like Squarespace From online websites and stores to marketing tools and analytics, Squarespace has got you covered Squarespace is where I’ve been hosting my website mollyburkeofficial.com for a number of years now Even my boyfriend who studied computer science and builds websites and apps from scratch looked at my website and he was like, “You honestly have a really good website.” I was like, “Yeah, thank you Squarespace.” So if you want to build your own website, build a beautiful online presence, definitely check it out What I do love is that they make it easy to build a website that’s accessible to all those who use it, including people like myself, we’re screen reader users

That was very important to me when building a website, which is why I sought out Squarespace to build mine on So thank you to Squarespace You can go to squarespace.com right now for your free trial And when you’re ready to launch, you can go to squarespace.com/mollyburke to get 10% off your purchase of a website or domain Thank you so much for sticking with me for another video I hope you enjoyed it and I will see you in the next one If you want more Molly, until then, you can click up here for this video or over here for this one Love you, (blowing kisses) bye

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