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i’m the very first i left from katakura and i’m 23 years old i got ds that means like jazz and drama i love kokoda but this is one thing that um i’m struggling with because it’s not a big enough town i kind of can do my own thing ap independence i just want to get out there and do what i got to do be myself i just want to move on really and do something else oh i do like living at home but my main goal is to lift away from home so maybe nothing gracious i try to aim that way to get it flat i think i’m kind of getting to get some flat mates all right this is just my um my craft knife um my favorite bat stuff in my coupons projects matt’s what i’m really because all my producers out there are my sister and i want to get access to my brothers and sister because i never see them if i do get flat um i want men to be my flatmates oh hello how are you good girl my best part is hanging out with mum because she like looks after me and and she kissed my dinner from me so that’s kind of nice so you post me a beer so that’s nice what’s the plan for the day um i don’t know she is my angel but you have a love skills yes it’s the best is and mushrooms yeah no that’s not my favorite yeah do like living at home after dinner mum it’s called the fria mangos so nice to have two parents ready we’ve got a house over our head so it’s kind of nice and maybe add some beat some people you always knew who’s spice is the spice on your taste sizes might have to lift them up yeah all right chris i’m coming down i’ll be here yeah go make sure you put your shoes on don’t you can i talk to them see you then when we go out on a call on a phone he say it’s code weird so he gets the message and i get on the i.t and go prime card run go ahead and then they give us what’s the matter and see what’s going on sounds good ted just puts the lights on oh here we go dad doesn’t take it easier on the photos all right he’s going i said that we’re going to get in now full gear pull straight and follow go

through town with the lights on he’s working 24 sound he needs help [ __ ] i’ll go ahead you know is it ironic for me so i’m a gp obviously and and so i came with a really unhelpful medical bias i could reel off because i’d learn this at medical school you know all the problems that down syndrome people might have chris’s knowledge of down syndrome was obviously quite extensive and mine was pretty much nothing so from that point of view chris was probably more dramatically affected i had very negative mindset but then pretty rapidly you had to kind of rethink it one guy who’s a gp a doctor friend of mine he wrote us the most amazing letter when rufus was born saying you know it’s going to take a while to understand this but this will actually be the the best and strongest thing that ever happens to your family and that’s the truth of it you know and so i had got no idea and uh i mean neither of us did and i think any parents starting off this journey to be safe you don’t with any charge you have you don’t actually know whether they’ll what will happen in their future cold so i got a job i want to keep that going it’s not fun to walk from here really far forward two minute walk it’s not too bad i mean we did worry about it all where will he go to school will he be able to go to school with his siblings will he ever have friends of his own will he ever be able to live independently still are some challenges now to how can we best help roofers become more independent but but i’m much more confident in the last few years i’m sort of done late yep as small as your engineer caprara making boat trailers so my part is um helping them out all right let’s can’t help today yes please rufus we’ll open some parcels shall we sometimes i’ll do some paperwork and answer the phone do some stamping that kind of stuff really they are two are so exciting frank rufus is a bit of a character around town so everyone knew rufus and we knew his mum did quite well and we were talking to esther and chris one day and they just mentioned that rufus might be looking for some work so we suggested he come down you’re right what do you have to mate now he’s just part of the family he’s been with us for two years and we love having him here gerard we’ve got a customer here who wants to train anyone would be lucky to have rufus in their team he has a great work ethic and he’s always on time and he’s always keen to do jobs he’s just one of the lads he loves a bit of banter mate three bits come on this morning sometimes we have to just remind him that he’s here to work but that’s what we love about him too and he’s really good he gets straight back into his jobs do we check the other one he definitely loves being down in the engineering workshop he’s got a very special friend over in the trailer bay called len who’s been with us for about 20 years and together they chat away and give each other a bit of a hard time i’ll just open this plug up it’s a great place been involved with the people but they’ve done the fan of me it’s like my family again i love it so the gem and kakua i’ve been going every couple weeks now i’ll just love it there really already oh we’ll do our every minute on the minute for five minutes it helps to clear your head too so we’re going to do our dumbbell boobies i just want to be in independence and go to the gym and stay fit really let’s go it’s one two

three eight get going nine five seconds to go four okay push push just about there breathe deep lock in for the mat they said you just need to get out there and stay healthy stay strong and just and just be yourself you know that’s that six pack is it all sucked in yeah yeah the ladies is that fresh right with that weight yep all right let’s go one nice and slow give me ten two good boy and one more two yeah thank you well done where that’s all awesome all right well done cool you gonna take these ones yeah yep for lazy sunday so cheesy henry is my sister put those ones in there how many tissues you think it’s just been there for me all the time when i get into trouble and stuff like that straight your green stripey yeah yep we’re going to go to christchurch oh is it too much no definitely not never too much strawberry oh my new one i love to see when she’s wearing glasses because she’s just like mum birdie well epic that’s gonna look so good on you 997 that’s your that’s your birth year isn’t it yeah oh that’s so cool rave i thought so she said livestream in crisis and livington i don’t see jesse all the time really and it hurts me quite a lot yeah i’ll go that puffer one this one yep that’ll keep you nice and warm at the game cool that’s very funny it says work out that’s it for all your gym times yep shaving cream were you growing a beard on this weekend i thought so get this last bit get that zipped up for you there we go right should we check that by the door for tomorrow again yeah all right you take that down we kind of always wanted a big family we’ve got five children who were all born quite close together all born in new zealand we came from england so we had a daughter first and then had a boy then had another boy and then had another boy and then had another boy and then we thought right it’s probably time to stop susie’s the oldest and then fun men met they mate and then mock it we’re completely underestimated the extra strong family bond that would come through i suppose protection really and caring about someone who is less able than yourself have you got a bunch of cards the same do you need that seven that’s my two first yourself our kids i would say have been especially close have an especially strong bond and i think it is in some way due to him rufus has really got skills better than any of the rest of us he just calls it how it is so there’s no agenda more just about being honest you know so he tells stories and loves making up jokes and stuff but he’s basically straight from the heart and what you see is what you guess and that’s a really good thing to learn from oh rocky come on my lip change pathologist and he’s very instinctive about people and you know he could walk into a room and would find the nicest person he has a way of of finding those people and those characters because of the way he is oh oh i know this stuff oh no oh that didn’t go very well but you didn’t is one of my favorites deep down he’s a legend he’s also there for me rocky is like all the time hanging out with me and like so nicely when i get lost and stuff it was a big thing for him wanting to keep up with everyone and getting to an age where rocky as the younger sibling surpassed him in terms of what he could do driving a car or having a girlfriend or those things that are really important that’s been a big thing for him yeah that was hard rocky’s had to bear the brunt of that we did have to have like family conversations about how to deal with those things

and mum and dad have always been very straight up with rufus and led by that example we often say to him look i’m really sorry that life just is unfair so that’s been one of our great things we’ve said to him it is just really unfair the fact that rocky can go to dunedin to uni and he’s your younger brother and you can’t go yes that is really unfair because rufus understands that well enough to say hell that’s just that’s just wrong dad that’s out of order i’m the oldest are you excited about christchurch yeah it is a really tough and and that remains tough and that will always remain a tough thing for roof i might make a playlist i think rocky is so laughed and so wanted i’d have to say this all right there he is i’m excited hello rufus henry hey arthur ready for a road trip for christchurch yeah i am good how was work good good just good have a big day let’s get some paperwork done oh give it paperwork no i didn’t give you that oh monday’s problem but yeah boys trap excuse me how about tgif no he’s just right not me though quite a fun plan isn’t it yeah that’s it rufus loves going to the city because it’s fun to go to his brothers and they do fun stuff but i think there’s a lot to be said for a small place where you know everybody and i think it’s very easy to be lonely in a big city in town here rufus is knows everybody and we actually love having him around so we’ve got to actually steal ourselves we’ve actually got to be brave and push him out of the nest a bit more and i think with all you know parents find that difficult so i think but quite how to do that is that that is the next big challenge what are you most excited about going crushing schwarz um more i gotta catch up with some people and to go to the out club and do some art and i’m going to do some new fans and see new people it’s kind of hard for you that there’s no one in kaikoura who’s also got down syndrome i always think that’s a bit tough for you isn’t it yeah it does it’s not it’ll be nice to get down and meet some of these guys though yeah it will be yeah yeah i am a bit nervous just for self-certain people really so what makes you feel nervous i don’t know like it’s seeing new people um i’ll get pretty shy after right you get a bit shy yeah it’s really different yeah i guess just because they don’t know you so well do they yeah i reckon you’ll be great ro i love you and like you can just be yourself yeah that’s what you always tell us to do when we’re feeling nervous isn’t it just be stuff just be juicy just be rocky just what do you think what feels scary about you moving to be by yourself like what feels like it will be hard not that scary yeah you’re pretty independent already huh um you know i just wanted to try it i kind of can just jack it up quite properly and it’s actually doing there’s lots of different elements because you’ve got to find the right people to live with and you’ve got to find a job down there because you haven’t got work done there at the moment drinking your best mum and dad though do you win not too much not too much because met’s there matt henry is one of my other brothers he’s got a flat the flat is so nice hello hi how are you on because it’s my brothers and sister because that means a lot to me good to see you the fate is good i think he just thinks we’re like the coolest people imaginable um is unfortunately not the case it’s definitely not the case we’ve probably misguided him greatly yeah oh what do you got there man

oh god i’m present for you he faces so much of his understanding of the kind of life that he wants on what he sees us do okay caramel and orange thanks mate we do tell him that we go to work and do boring things and the time between he sees us but he doesn’t believe that he doesn’t yeah he thinks that because obviously when he comes down here we’re always hanging out with our mates and you know yeah just having a few beers and having a good time and he thinks that’s just my my life 24 7. he’s like he’s got a bit of a walk but yeah um i think he just yeah wants to do what we do and and kind of follow us really what do i say it’s certainly new today yeah bro date of birth 99 yes i think rufus has kind of come to terms with having down syndrome more whereas for ages he never talked about it now i think he owns it a lot more he’s gotten older and kind of just accepted it and i think yeah he’s almost become kind of proud of it there are still some markers of independence that i guess he’s yet to experience and i think a big one of those that we think of us is a relationship have fun guys bitty this is rufus hello he’s just telling us some about his hobbies he’s come from kaikoura to come hang out with us for today oh okay yeah we’ve got feeders stickers turkey’s bones delicious stickers he’s definitely not lacking in the social department i don’t think but yeah it’d be really cool for him to meet someone that he could kind of have like a romantic relationship with i’d really love him to experience that with someone who really understood his challenges and and kind of i guess could experience things with him at the same speed and we’ve got a theater and it’s just sticking right over there and he says you know all of us have different relationships and he obviously just just wants it for himself which is completely fair enough do you have a niece or nephew because he can’t get to somewhere on his own it’s hard for him to have completely independent relationships and more of a committed relationship would be a lovely thought and you can’t make those things happen you’ve just got to hope i think friends it’s an important thing really because it’s me to go on and make her life more fun you know oh wow amazing thanks absolutely lovely okay he’s just always been this real joker i’m that nature all right really light-hearted definitely a lad yeah that’s probably the only way you can describe them yeah i think that’s completely separate from the disability and everything it’s just that’s generally what his personality is and you know only takes you five minutes of spending time to realise that that’s what he’s like good game mate thank you well listen you run with your picture yeah yeah he’s our absolute total champion he’s so good at cutting to the kind of heart of emotional things and like kind of looking after us really it’s bigger now he’s going to choke doesn’t matter how mad or what you do or how much money you have or where you come from he’ll judge everybody on the interaction he has with them that’s been such a big kind of learning curve for me yeah what did that r stand for i kind of resist that whole oh down syndrome so loving so caring because it’s like he’s more than that he’s a complex yeah person with like things that are difficult and challenges but i think that kind of total pride he has it’s kind of hard not to let that change your view of yourselves and your family i guess that’s so yeah it’s a pretty huge impact on us good good thanks big smiles and give me a thumbs up it’s funny with rufus because in so many ways he’s so confident and so it kind of puts himself out there and so seemingly capable but there’s still i’d say definitely a lot he needs to learn for example he doesn’t understand the concept of money going out of your card and net going down and eventually you know he can’t really manage that side of things and although he can totally strike up a confident conversation he also still struggles with his shoelaces yeah all day by day and finn’s going for bloody because he’s

such a good kind of social ability and can just communicate with you know and interact with everybody it probably glosses over that it does it’s a good buffer for him i think to kind of get by with confidence you don’t always realize how much he still has to learn and i think mum and dad really realize that so i think we all accept that it’s going to be a slow process but we will i think we’ll get there yeah i also think we’ll get that yeah so i want a bigger toes to um for the rugby who got the tickets and that’s been owen and gabby nice one and the three best toasters do that’s my life but i want to move on and different lawsuits but one day i would go down there so i if i do live dummy i’ll get a job but i don’t want to give up done later because i love looking here he actually makes us so proud i feel like in the last few years he’s matured so much and he’s really grown up and i think you can tell and the way he interacts with people and like just his kind of vibe [Applause] he’s such an emotional support for us i don’t know how he would have navigated life without having him there and we’ve tried to you know encourage everything and just be as supportive as we can as parents yeah it’s been it’s been fantastic journey i was so worried about it initially i think all those sort of barriers that i’d imagined and feared in in having a child with down syndrome were wrong really it’s been a really amazingly eye-opening experience but we feel so proud of him and i’d say all his siblings do too cocoa is a bit smaller gracious more bigger and bigger shots and stuff i do love being home i love loving dead but be kind of nice to come down here you

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