*WAPOOSH* Jack: Oh what the fu- I Wade: Looks fine for me! Mark: Oh my god Mark: Oh my god, the cabinets are errors Jack: it’s- OH MY- Wade: Do you guys have all the- all the other stuff installed? Jack: The whole building is a fucking error! Mark:Yeah of course! Yeah of course! Wade: I don’t see any errors? Jack: The whole building is purple! Mark: The gas station is an error! Wade: No it’s fine! Jack: Yeah! Mark: Wait, no, ah, hang on Jack:EVERYTHING IS ERRORS IN HERE Bob: Hey. Am I an error? Don’t shoot me. Don’t shoot me. I’m right next to you Jack Jack: No you’re a …pot Bob: Oh Cool Wade: Oh you’re really here- Bob: Wade, don’t kill me! Jack: *Laughter* Bob: Goddamnit, oh it was you! Jack: *More laughter* Wade: Wow! Wade: I like how I get accused! Jack: The comedic timing was too good Jack: Now I don’t know what you guys can see and what you can’t Wade: *Freaking out* Bob: I can- I can see everything I have zero errors Mark: Oh my god, this is going to be so hard to watch *Laughs* Jack: Are- Do you have like the entire inside of the building is all pink? Mark: Yeah Bob: No- Mark: No, yeah Bob: No, mine’s fine Mark: Wait- I- Bob- I- I know that lyingness Jack: *Screams* Jack: Should I cancel this? Jack: I picked hunters Bob: Imma pick hunter! Wade: Alright Bob: Hunters win! Jack: *Laughs* Mark: I can’t see shit Jack: Okay Mark: The map is too small Jack: Here we go Wade: Welcome to prop hunt everybody Bob: Fuckin’- Fuck Mark: Oh fuck Bob: Cock, fuckin’, fuck Wade: I feel like I’ve played ‘gmod Guess Who’ on this map Jack: I feel like I should see you guys already, by your expletives Wade: Oh hi Mark: Fuck Bob: No. NO! Wade: *Yelling* Bob: God- Jesus man Mark: Oh. Thought that was me Jack: Why’d you kill yourself? Mark: Bob, how am I? Bob: You’re a wizard Jack: How the fuck am I going to find you? Every house- Bob: Can you scoot toward the middle of the- of- oh! Don’t scoot! Jack: Oh! Okay Bob: Stop moving! Stop moving! You’re a wizard Bob: You’re a straight up wizard, okay Mark: Yeah? Bob: Well… Yeah! You’re good Mark: Yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, okay, alright, good Wade: Is there only two houses that are actually searchable? Jack: Yeah Bob: Aside from the fact that the – ro- rest of the room looks a little bit like the apocalypse, it’s pretty good Mark: *Laughing* Jack: Okay, so he’s back in the other house then, heh Mark: N-no, no, no. GODAMNIT BOB, Y-YOU SOLD ME Bob: Oh sorry Jack: You ratted me out jeez! Mark: *Laughter* Bob: They’ll never- they’ll never find you. They’re not even close Mark: I see someone out the window in the WRONG house, HAH HA HA Bob: *Strange gurgling laughing* Mark: Giggidy Bob: You’re in the WRONG house Mark: Yeah, WRONG HOUSE LOSER Jack: Ha, got ’em Mark: Why don’t you go across the street nerd!? Jack: Why don’t you reveal yourself? Bob: I think you got the wrong number, bruh Wade: I think you’re in the right place Jack Mark: Yeah, maybe you need to call 911 to get yourself out of this sticky situation Jack: Nothing looks wrong here! Bob: Yeah, uh Wade: Sticky is a clue! He’s… goo Jack: He’s semen. He’s semen on the roof Mark: I- I’m an old sock under the bed Wade: He’s semen on the roof! Bob: *Giggles* Wade: Semen on the roof! Jack: I’m- I’m knocking shit down just by standing still Bob: Semen on the roof *Laughing* Mark: *Laughing* Bob: That’s actually the uh- the current sequel of uh- the semen of the fiddler on the roof Bob: And it’s written from the perspective of his unborn child Jack: It’s a Martin Scorsese epic Mark: Also known as diddler on the roof Jack: *Laughs* Jack: Where the fuck is he?! Give me a hint Wade: Is Mark in the room with the lamp on the- lamps of the floor? Bob: Also see the campy revamp of it, semen around Jack: *Unimpressed* Jack: *Unimpressed* Bob: Not as serious- some found it offensive, but honestly… some good songs Mark: Mhm Jack: Are you done? Mark: And, and, and the, the sister movie- Wade: Oh boy Mark: -the semenist- Jack *is over it* Mark: -was also uh, uh a classic- (interrupted by Jack suiciding) Jack: I’m sick of your shit. Sick of listening to your crap Bob: Well… All we have to do is tell horrible jokes until they decide to kill themselves Jackaboy and Markipooo: *Laughing* Bob: *Laughing* Jack: It’s almost impossible to get into this house and not knock shit down Jack: There’s basements in these houses? Bob: What?! Wade: Is there? Mark: What? Jack: If you clip through the ground and like look under it you can see other rooms Mark: Hm Bob: How the fuck do you get in the basement? Jack: Good fucking questo Bob Bob: Oh, God Jesus Jack: See?! *Laughing* Jack: You walk by shit and it just smashes Bob: So you saw that, did ya? Jack: No, I heard it Wade: What in the world?! Mark: *Laughing* Wade: Mark is that you that’s breaking everything? Jack: Wait. Bob. Go into that- go into that little shed. See if you can find the thing Wade: Stop breaking my brothers and sisters Jack: Is that how you get in? Mark: OH, wait. What you talking about Wade? Was I close? Mark: Was I on the nose? Wade: Maybe. Maybe you were close Mark: Maybe I was close? Maybe you are- Wade: Maybe I’m a liar Mark: Maybe you’re a dead man?! Wade: GAHHH Wade: Is there-? Bob: I really just want to find the basement Wade: Please, keep hitting that Jack: *Laughing* Jack: What are you doing there Bob? Mark: Alright Wade I’ve got your number Mark: I’ve got your number Wade. Oh Jack: What the fuck is happening? Wade: Oh, I see you. There you are. Hey Bob: I’m not doing anything. What are you doing? Wade: Oh now I don’t see you. Hey there you are – oh – nope – heyy Jack: I’m just hearing explosions everywhere Mark: Hello. Whoa Jack: Yeah you just walk by shit and it smashes Mark: Huhh Jack: It’s annoying as fuck Mark: Alright Bob we gotta start making calls here Wade: Oh hi Everybody: *Laughing* Jack: Made the right call Bob: *Laughing* Mark: *Laughing* Bob: Yeah all you gotta do is- wait Mark look at this flag over here (Mark: Yeah?) at this house for a second Mark: Oh Shit Wade: Oh Jack you are golden Mark: Hang on Bob: *Laughing*
Mark: I gotta- I gotta be patriotic for a second here Bob: Oh wait, it’s okay. Wait no Mark come look at it from this angle please Mark: Yeah *Laughing* Bob: *Laughing* Jack: Is it frozen? Bob: Yeah it’s like- it’s like it’s waving in the air but it’s stuck Bob: So it feels super fucked up from the side Mark: Whoa that is redonk Wade: Jack that is absurd Jack: I know right *giggle* I feel a little bad Mark: Is it absurd? Wait hang on, is it absurd though? Is it… absurd? Jack: It’s a little absurd Wade: It’s almost as ridiculous as someone being a giant red cooler running around Jack: *Laughing* Wade: Toying with Mark Mark: Alright uhm, he might be a pair of glasses maybe? Jack: *Wrong sound effect* Mark: That means I’m right! Jack: No Bob: No I see him he’s out here, aw I fucking shot your brother earlier Mark: Ahh Jack: *Laughs* Don’t shoot my fucking bro Mark: Oh is he coming in? Bob: He’s a little, he’s a little coaster on the ground Mark: Oh wait, I saw him run by Jack: I’m an ashtray! Wade: *Laughs* Mark: I saw him running by Wade: Yeah, got it right Bob: I shot the thing that you became Jack: AH GOD Wade: Oh my god Mark: *Yelling* Mark: He’s a dirty coaster, I helped Bob, I helped Bob: You’re just a nasty little shit disk Jack: Well I was originally an accordion in that room you went into Bob: Oh really? Mark: Uhh Jack: Yeah Mark: Don’t listen to the extreme noise Bob: *Laughing* Wade: That’s very obviously coming from this house? Jack: *Laughing* Bob: *Laughing* Mark: That is none of your concern Bob: *Laughing* Bob: *Laughing* This is fine, don’t come in, I don’t need your help Bob: *Laughing* This is fine, don’t come in, I don’t need your help Jack: This is fine Mark: Don’t come in my room mum, please leave, leave Bob: Please go away Jack: Oh, I found the basement! Bob: Oh my God Wade: Oh nice Bob: If you clip through the ground you can see the- the picture that Mark: I am not… masturbating Bob: they used to create the background horizon image Mark: Ooh Wade: Do you really want to go find them or do you just want to hang out in this cool basement Bob: It’s like a 300 (Jack: Yeah, right?) degree, black and white picture of a valley Jack: Dude there’s a bar in here, we should just get drinks Wade: Yeah I agree Bob: I don’t know if it’s copyrighted (Jack: Here you go) I’m going to keep looking at it Wade: Thank you Wade: *Drinking sounds* Jack: *Laughing* Bob: Mark, are you still alive? Wade: Next Mark: Yeah, I’m still alive, I’m- I’m good hiding location Wade: Oh, Th-thank you for smashing that one over my head Jack: No problem Mark: Uh, I don’t know who that was, but Mark: Nothing Bob: Someone’s out in the street and someone’s in the wrong house Wade: Hm, I take it that means I’m in the wrong house Bob: Well since only one of you is in the house- Jack: FUCK! Mark: Whoa! Wohoho Jack: Did I get close? Mark: No, no I-uh I had slipped, I slipped so- like I- I got- I just managed to get behind you and then around the back of the shed Jack: Shit! Mark: Yeah Bob: Mark, I’m flashing my light. Come to me Wade: What’d you shoot? Jack: OHH Mark: Oh, I see your light, I do see your light Mark: Holy shit I see your light Bob: *Laughing* Mark: Holy fuck. I’m coming Bob! Jack: Wait! Mark: Oh god there’s no line AAAGGH Bob: *Laughing* Jack: *Laughing* Wade: What? Mark: *Screaming* Jack: They’re outside Wade in otherside- other house, other house Bob: Mark don’t come to me, Mark don’t Wade: I can’t leave Wade: OH GOD Jack: No- WHY? Mark: *Laughing* Bob: Yayyy Jack: I just gave them away Wade: I accidentally right-clicked Mark: *Laughing* Bob: Hello friend Mark: Oh you would not believe the adventure I had Bob Bob: *Laughing* Jack: Fucks sake Wade, we had that Mark: *Laughing* Bob: *Laughing* Wade: I know Jack: Ahh Fuck Bob: Hey I see someone is- (Jack: Ahh shit stains) I see someone is in a shed Jack: Shit stains Mark: Wade, okay I got you covered Wade: Come on, no Jack: Come on man, how did this- WHY? Mark: Is that- is that- is that what I think it is Bob: *Laughing* Mark: What I think it is Jack: You guys see nothing Mark: We’ll give you another shot, wait no no no, let’s play, we’ll close the door Bob: Yeah what if we, oh god, hang on… (Mark: Oooooh no) I’m stuck Jack: *Laughing* Mark: There we go, okay we’re good Jack: I can’t move! Bob: Can we- Mark: Alright Bob: Can we open this other door and help you? Jack: I can’t even close this door Mark: Wait I’m trying to push you in Bob: We’ll push you- We’ll push you in Mark: Oooh boy Jack: Okay, I can’t become anything else Jack: Let me fucking move! Mark: Let me give you give you an object Mark: We will give you something Bob: We’re working on it Bob: We’re wedging you in there. It’s fine this is fine Jack: I’m- I’m pressing stuff Bob: There you go Mark: Oh, there you go Bob: You popped in Mark: Okay, alright Jack: Okay Mark: We’re going to look away, we’re going to close the door Jack: Okay, okay, okay wait wait wait Bob: We’ll just- we’ll just leave you Jack: Imma hide really good in here, you guys won’t even know Mark: Alright, alright cool Bob:*Laughing* Jack: Okay, o-okay, wait no you can look again, you can look again Mark: You have a good one, have a good day at school Jack: You can look again Mark: Oh okay Jack: I changed, I changed Mark: I-Imma go in Wade: He’s changed? *Laughing* Mark: Alright, 3, 2, 1 oowooooo Jack: I got stuck again *Giggles* Bob: *Laughing* Mark: *Laughing* Jack: I don’t know how this happened Bob: *Laughing way too hard* Bob: You know what, I don’t think he needs any help, I think we (Mark: Yeah) just leave him be (Mark: Whoa!) Bob: And you know we’ll come back and check on you in a bit okay? Jack: *Laughing* Okay Mark: We’ll come back, you just cook for a bit Jack: Guys Mark: Yup? Jack: I can pick up shit but I- won’t let me become it! Why!? Wade: *Laughing* Mark: We can hear the clanging Bob: *Wheezes* Jack: Why!? This is my fucking hell! Bob: Are you making any progress over there Jack? Mark: I found the door Jack: I’m trying, I- im so close to making progress Wade: Jack a- are you ok in here? Jack: Ah- No… I need help Wade: What can I do? Jack: i- da i don’t fucking Bob: Did ah you ever find the basement? Jack: I don’t Fucking know! Mark: Yeah, I found the basement. it’s cool Jack: I- I can’t become anything wade! Jack: It wont let me! *laugh* Wade: how bout- how bout this one Jack: It wont let me become anything!! Wade: uh Bob: Oh wow! Mark: yeah i know right! Wade: hrm Jack: Wade just go, just go Wade Bob: Man, the *idk* is stuffy down here Wade: eh- ok
Jack: Bye Bye buddy Bob: Every step i take its like im a goddamn giant Bob: Destroying the universe Mark: *sniff* hey Bob i saw somethin’ Wade: No you didn’t Mark: heh Yeah i did *laugh* Bob you wanna come out and see uh- the magical changing shed again? Jack: *laugh* HAHA NO! DON’T LOOK AT MY SHAME! Wade: Ah! Ah why are you shooting at me! Bob: I’m not shooting at you Jack: I’m shooting around you Wade: Hey, have you ever heard of Connectico Motor Oil? It’s the best! Jack: Have you ever heard of Kombucha? Wade: *singing* Available today! Connectico Oil! Mark: *giggle* Jack: *giggle* Wade: Here to stay! Mark: He’s unkillable! Jack: Okay, now that was just embarrassing; and I’m the one stuck in the ground Mark: Yeah, that was bad for me Mark: Alright, so what we’ll do — woah Bob: I’m going to ride you to victory, Jack, let’s do this Jack: Okay, okay I’m not moving (Bob: Is this working?) No, and I can’t pick up anything, I can’t move Bob: *gasp* I am inside you *strange noises* Jack: Just fucking kill me, just fucking kill me Mark: Alright.. this is going to be a mercy okay? *gunshot* Jack: Thank you Mark: Woahhohu Jack: Oh, wow Bob: Oh, look at the fire, oh fuck! Mark: Woahohoho Jack: I was the fire all along! Mark: The shed is angry! Jack: Okay Bob: Oh, fuck’s sake Jack: I hear a clingity-clang — and a biggity-bang (Bob: No, it’s fine, everything’s fine) inside the housey-do (Bob: in the house, nothing happened) Bob: Everything’s fine, don’t worry about it Jack: Is it? Bob: Yeah, It’s fine *banging sound* Jack: Tehaha, “everything’s fine” *imitating banging sound Wade: So Mark, you wanna talk about this? Mark: *screaming* NOOOOOO!!!! Wade: Oh, my God, you scared me! Jack: That scared the shit outta me! *Mark and Bob laughing* Jack: Holy FUCK! *Mark scream-laughs* Wade: I jumped so high- Wade: -when you screamed, I just jumped *Bob and Mark laugh* Mark: Sorry, I panicked Jack: That made me jump in real life *Mark laughs* Bob: OH my god Jack: Wait- Bob, are you here? Wade: Hey-hey Mark, I’m stuck Mark: Good Bob: Are you- are you the one in the bar, Jack? Mark: You should stay that way Jack: Yeah Bob: Naw, I’m not in there Jack: *laughs* Are you the one in the bar with me? Yeah, I’m not in there Mark: How ’bout I just stick my ass up against this radiator Jack: It’s a bit too late to- Oh, hey! Bob: OH NO! *Wade laughs* Jack: Ah!!!!! Mark: Ho ho! Jack: I did it! Jack: I just randomly shot that chair because it was misaligned Bob: What the fuck? It looked fine [Wade: I just saw a garbage can rolling behind the house] Jack: No it didn’t Jack: You were sideways Bob: It was fine! Jack: You were siiiideways Wade: I’m stuck! But I think it’s okay Bob: I see a chair running around Bob: What’s goin’ on over here? Jack: *whispers* Nothin’ Wade: I’m stuck, but it’s fine Mark: *imitating Jack’s whisper* Nothin’ Wade: It’s fine, Jack Bob: Oh Wade: There’s nothing to worry about Bob: This chair looks a little suspicious Jack: *close to mic* Whatchya doing buddy? it’s fine its fine buddy its fine don’t even worry about it it fine *Mark laughs* Bob: Oh my god Jack: Dont- dont even worry about it dont even worry its fuckin- its fuckin fine hEY i CAN heAr MYSELF IF i yELL!! *all of them laugh* Bob: Oh, oh, OH! Jack: It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, AWWWWWW ffFUck Mark: Jesus, I’m watching through the window *Bob laughs* Jack: ahh shit Mark: This is not fine Mark: Bob what’s happening in there? Jack: Now it’s fine Mark: bob you might wanna- Jack: Now its fine *repeats several times* Mark: UH OH BOB *Jack continues* *Bob joins in saying several ‘it’s fine’ Jack: Ahh god i cant see it MOVE!! Can’t fucking see shit Where’s the Exit? Where’s the off ramp? Wade: *squeak-laugh* *Jack laughs* Bob: It’s not in any off the places you’ve gone so faaar! *laughs* Jack: eh, eh,eh! Bob: Ahh shit Jack: eh, EHHH! NOooooooooo! *Mark laughs* *Everyone laughs* Wade: So Jack: OHHHH Wade: Umm *Mark and Bob still laughing* Jack: Fuckin SUCKS! Jack:I was FINE! Mark: I opened that door hoping you’d come out *Bob dying with laughter* Jack: FUCK Bob: Ohh fuckin’ shit God damn Jack: Th-thanks for playing Bob Bob: ohh my god Jack: Thanks…thanks Jack: Wade wa-wait i think your pretty solid wade Wade: Yeah but i can’t actually move so Jack: I mean they’re in the same house but….you’re pretty solid! Wade: I’m sure I’m fine, they’ll never- they wouldn’t dare look here Jack: They’ll probably leave! Wade: Oh hey they looked here Jack: Ohhhhh *whispers* Jack: I think I was talking out loud Jack: I have ruined that Wade: They can’t hear us Mark: Hmm Wade: I’m sure i’m- AHHHHHH Jack: *laughs* Mark: *laughs* Bob: You’re right. Once I walked into the right room it was immediately clear! Jack: I told you! Wade: Oh hey there’s Mark in the window *Bob laughs* Mark: Hi I’m here too guys *Jack laughs* Wade: Jack we had great scores Mark: Ok! Jack: It’s me and Bumbers Mark: Yeah remember how you were insulting me last time? Mark: maybe-maybe a complement to start this off would be nice? Jack: Wait you are a great guy we’re gon’ make good team! Wade: This map is huge! Mark: Oh thanks! Your accent is not nearly as funny as people make it out to be! Mark: It’s actually cool and probably voted the number one sexiest accent in the world Jack: It is, but I’m also terrible at it and my accent is so neutral now Mark: Isn’t it- isn’t it the northern ac-accent that’s the sexy one? Jack: No they don’t count they’re not Irish they’re British Mark: oooohhhhh Mark: I dunno Mark: The Jack in the GameGrumps office, he’s Mark: i mean Jack: He’s pretty sexy Jack: But he’s also looks like Ted Levine Wade: This map is enormous Mark: Why do you pick it then? Jack: Dude Waffle House!
Bob: [Laughs] Jack: Woah! Bob: Waffle House? Mark: Hey woah! Mark: Fuck this map let’s go to Waffle House! Jack: Wait there’s a fuckin a T pose dude just standing in there Bob: Alright I’ll go to Waffle House Jack: I don’t – I don’t think we can actually go in Slenderman’s in there as well Bob: You- you can’t go in Mark: WOAH Mark: That’s uh- This is a spooOky map! *Jack laughs* Jack: SPOOKY! SCARY! Mark: What the fuck? I saw Felix’s face in the window! What the fuck? Wade: I think your face is in the window, too, Mark Jack: WOOAH, yeah *Mark laughs* Mark: Ah, Jesus Wait, do it again Jack: Yours is in this one- Your face is in here Mark: Is yours in one of these? Jack: No – I’m not the horror game dude Jack: *laughs* It’s like 15 of your faces Mark: Oh my god Mark: I remember that photoshop that it’s showing Mark *laughs* I remember that one Jack: Yeah! Mark: UuuHGH Jack: Show it again Jack: *makes scare noise* Mark: *reading something* “You sud nut come here” Mark: ok *Jack laughs* Jack: I’m gonna- the scary grammar!! *Mark laughs* Wade: I mean, Bob and I were here looking in the windows with you guys but Mark: Oh, Jesus Jack: Oh, hey Mark: ok, alright Bob: Nope Bob: Nope, that’s not me That’s not me, don’t worry about it Jack: WHAT? He’s behind you! Wade: It’s okay, he missed Mark: Oh, I saw him! Mark: Wait, where’d he go? Jack: He da bottle Mark: Fuck, I lost him Jack: How the FUCK did i miss with that? Mark: Sorry guys *Bob begins to chuckle* Mark: I don’t know Bob: I don’t know either Mark: He went under my feet and then I immediately- Bob: OHGOD Bob: Oh fuck, oh fuck! Mark: I spot ‘im! Jack: AHHH Wade’s out here, Wade’s our here! He’s a little doll! Mark: Where is he? Jack: I got him cornered! Jack: He’s out here Mark: OHH Jack: Behind the wood! Mark: Wait – where is our here? Jack: AHHH! He’s-he’s going up that step Mark: You’re not giving me directions. Communication is the key- Jack: GOT HIM! Mark: oh, okay *Jack laughs* Are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’? Mark: Oh, you were thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’? *Jack laughs* Mark: We can- we can think what we were thinkin’ Wade: Wait, wait- are you guys thinking what Bob and I are thinking? Bob: I can smell the dickery through the internet right now Mark: *quietly* You guys thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’? Wade: I mean, I showered last night, I’m not sure if it’s me Bob: I smell Mark: That’s some fresh dick! Bob: Not your dickery Bob: Not your dickliness Wade: Oh, okay Bob: The dickery Mark: *quietly* Get closer Mark: *quietly* Little more Mark: YEAH *Jack chuckles deviously* *Mark chuckles deviously* *Mark chuckles louder* Jack: IT’S NOT WORKING! *all explode into laughter* Jack: SHIT! *everyone laughs* Jack: NOOO! *laughing* Jack: Fuck! Bob: Oh my god, that was amazing Mark: Jesus Christ Mark: That didn’t work at all Jack: No! Wade: Was Bob on the roof right next to you? Jack: I counted on his stupidity! In our defense, there was two bottles right there that we threw off and sacrificed *glass shattering* Jack: What are you-? Mark: WOW Jack: There are better ways *laughs* Bob: Oh my god Jack: What are you doing? *Mark laughs* Mark: LEAVE ME TO MY DEVICES Jack: There’s a fuckin’ front door! *laughs* Bob: Oh my god, there is? Oh shit Wade: Was somebody hobbling around outside or breaking their leg? Jack: Yeah, I broke my legs Mark: No, no, no, no, no Jack: Oh, the front door was open Mark: I was being an idiot Jack: Ok wait- Mark: *sarcastic* Oh, this door! Jack: On a scale of “How Spoopy?” – Where are we on this? Mark: Oh fuck, we’re pretty spoopy Jack: I mean- Mark: We’re pretty spoopy Jack: *reads* “Imminent danger of skeletons” Wade: I say you guys are at Jack: is pretty spoopy Wade: You’re definitely “P Spoopy” Mark: Hang on, wait a minute Wait a minute, guys Jack: Waaait a secer Mark: Wait a minute, GUYS Jack: Okay, you do that, I’ll stay out here [Wade: Ah, you knocked me over!] Jack: 4-10, buddy! *Bob laughs evilly* Mark: Okay Jack: I got you Mark: What the fuck? Hi, Sonic Wade: What the fuck? Bob: 6-80, buddy Mark: Oh, Jesus Jack: Dude Jack: I think we’re gonna have to upgrade this to a “2Spooky” Mark: This might be too spooky for me Wade: “It is too late, the skeleton is inside you” Jack: It was P Spoopy, its Jack: It’s gotten wo- OHH, you know about- You know how to read Wade: I do Jack: You know how to read the sign, that means you’re close Mark: Yeah, he is close Wade: Well maybe- Mark: He opened the door Wade:-there’s the same poster in another place *laughs* Mark: No, no, no, no, no Jack: Ah Bob: Oh dear Mark: Jack, I found a watermelon! Jack: Da! *shoots it* *Mark laughs* Jack: Its- it’s not it – good Don’t scare me like that! Mark: Oh shit Mark: AH, sorry man Jack: Watermelons are my enemy! Mark: I thought for sure Mark: Oh, no! Jack: Oh wait, there was a ways out of here? I thought you were just in a room with ’em Oh, okay Mark: No, no, there’s ways out Bob: Hey, I made it! Jack: *disappointed* Aww That’s not something I want – oh, hey! That’s not somethin’ I wanna hear- Mark: WATERMELON! Jack: FUCK Mark: Oh Jack: Jesus, not again! *Bob starts laughing* Wade: I’m really glad I wasn’t the watermelon now, geez Bob: Watermelon! Jack: O-kay! Bob: Are you assholes still inside that house? Jack: Hey! Mark: Yeah? Jack: How ’bout you be nicer to us? Mark: Woah, what the fuck? Wade: Oh, hey *gunshot* Wade: Ow! Why? *Mark laughs* Bob: Whoever just ran through the door, run back – run back Bob: Yeah, now look up at the window Mark: Uh huh Bob: Now back up, back up until you’re against the wall by the door *Jack shoots* eh Jack: Oh, hey! Mark: You’re in the window? Jack: That’s pretty fuckin’ good! Mark: Wha? Jack: He was on the wall out there Mark: OOOH- THAT’S THE WINDOWS I WAS SMASHING AND YOU SAID I WAS DUMB! *Wade starts giggling* Jack: Well…yeeah Bob: Uh, why don’t you just drink some of me, cuz you suck Bob: Suck at finding- Bob: God dammit Jack: He’s a vacuum! Jack: No? Bob: No, I’m actually just Clorox Bleach Jack: Oh, okay *shoots* Bob: Hey! *explosion* *Bob and Jack laugh* Mark: Woah! Jack: GOT HIM!! Mark: Woah, you got him! Jack: I found him Bob: Jesus Christ Jack: I have 10 health Mark: You got that room *chuckles*
*Bob laughs* Wade: He’s a tin can Mark: No I’m not *distant gunshots* Jack: These are all good sounds Mark: You’re a tin can Jack and Mark: We’re ALL tin cans, guys Mark: *laughs* We’re all tin cans- *Mark screams* Wade: Did you get him Bob? Mark: NOOOOO! Bob: I’m trying Bob: He’s running around like crazy Mark: Ah, fuck! Bob: There you go Jack: Great Wade: I was gonna let you run around ’til you tried to go inside Mark: OOOOH, SUUURE, OH OKAY *Jack chuckles* Mark: Papa bless Wade: Aww, Jack, which one are ya? Jack: I’m neither of all of them *Mark laughs* Wade: Jack just opened a door on me Jack: Maybe I’ll open several doors? *Mark laughs tauntingly* *Mark laughs* Oh you’re so stupid! Wade: Bob, did you open this door here? Bob: What door? Mark: *quietly* wow Wade: This one Bob: Hey, I found him, he’s right there Jack: Are you fuckin-are you serious? Wade: Oh, hey there he goes *Mark laughs* Mark: RUUUN! RUUUNN! Bob: He’s in the green room right now He’s trying to run away but he’s not Now he’s in the bathroom Like a dumb Jack: No I’m not! Bob: Now he’s in the green room Jack: I’m not Bob: He’s right here Bob: Close the doors on him Wade: NOOO, I did *Mark laughs* Jack: Laters Wade: But he opened it Jack: NOO! *Mark giggles* *explosion* Bob: What? Jack: Ha! Mark: Wow Mark: You guys are awful *laughs* Jack: There’s too much line of sight here! *bullet whizzes* Jack: Ahh – AHH! Wade: I’m screwed Mark: On a scale of Mark: “wrong place” to “washing machine in the wall” Bob: Oh no, this doesn’t thing! Mark: How, how screwed are you? Bob: Alright, fuck Bob: Alright, dick Wade: OWW! Bob: Shit, fuck Bob: Oh Lord Wade: Do you have to be so violent? Jack: He’s on the roof *chuckles* *gunshot* Mark: He’s on the roof? Jack: Yeah, he was just- Mark: Oh, he is on the roof Wade: *singing* Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal Wade: *singing slight nonsense* Jack you-awhat I di-lla need *Wade singing complete gibberish* Jack: I wanna kill myself now Mark: I’m trying to keep on watch, I just don’t know where he’s gone Oh, nevermind, I don’t need to watch anymore Jack: Nah He- he’s stupid, he coulda left the roof, for some reason he didn’t [Mark: Hi Bob. Bob: No, hang on!] Bob: Wait pause, I had an idea and I couldn’t do it Mark: I’m pausin’ Mark: Well stop running if we’re gonna pause Bob: Alright, I’m here, hang on Bob: Hang on Jack: I didn’t say “I pause” Bob: I’m gonna go over this way, okay? Mark: Okay *Jack shoots* Bob: Slowly – Ah, AH! *Jack chuckles* Jack: Dance boy! Mark: I’m not shootin’ at ya, I’m not shootin’ at ya! Bob: Alright, no, I wanna try and get into the tree house and be the big pumpkin Bob: and then you can kill me as the Great Pumpkin Mark: Okay, alright, you know what? You know what? Mark: I trust you You know I usually – ooh- don’t trust you but I trust you this time *Wade laughs* Bob: I don’t know why you wouldn’t trust me Jack: Thanks, Rick Bob: Hang on, let me go up the ladder Mark: Alright, go up Jack: Hey buddy Mark: Alright you’re up there *Mark, Wade, and Jack start laughing* Bob: Aw – you CAN’T become this pumpk- *rapid gunfire* Jack: Aww, too bad! Jack: Oh, no! *Laughing* Bob: God damn *door noises* Bob: No, you need a gun! Mark: I- Bob: Hi! *shoots* Jack: AHHHH! Mark: *laughs* Jesus! *Bob laughs* Mark: That does not bode well for me Jack: Ohhh Jack: Ohhhh *laughs* *Bob still laughing* Jack: You can come in, out from theeeerree Jack: OHHHH Mark: Yeah Jack: Yeah, you should be good *zapping sound* Bob: Mark, Mark Jack: Okay, maybe less good, now Bob: Where’d you go? Bob: Mark’s a cinderblock, where the fuck did he just go? *Mark chuckles* *Mark laughs* Jack: How did you lose him? Mark: I don’t know I don’t know, they’re a bunch of dumbs Mark: that’s what they are Wade: But every door is open Wade: He could have left at any point Jack: Keep runnin’ buddy Mark: No, no, no Jack: Woah, there’s a giant skeleton over there! Mark: It really didn’t work well for ‘him That’s all I’m saying Jack: Good call, good call Bob: I think I know where Mark is, actually Mark: Where? *blows raspberry* Jack: Wait, say it out loud and I’ll tell you if you’re right Bob: He’s in the big pit where the giant skeleton is Jack: You are- you are incorrect Mark: Ha! *Mark laughs mockingly* I’m in the big pit?! *Jack scoffs* Pff! Jack: Who- who even thinks that? *Mark makes scoffing sounds* Jack: It’s fuckin’ laaaame-o! Mark: Do you even have a brain? Bob: He’s a bottle He’s on the other side of that fence I just shot at Mark: Nu-uh! Mark: Nu-uh, nu-uh! Mark: Nu-uh Bob: Mm-hm Mark: *quiet* Nu-uh *Jack chuckles* Bob: Now he’s behind you *Mark screams* *Jack laughs* Mark: I hit a barrel, I hit a barrel! Wade: He’s a cinderblock! Mark: I’m a barrel! Mark: No I’m not! Bob: He’s a barrel! Jack: He’s a barrel now, that can’t be him Jack: Mark is the cinderblock *laughs* Mark: AHHH, fuck Mark: Ah, shit! *Bob laughs* *Mark joins in laughter* Bob: You just killed a stranger, Dumb Wade: Oh, man, that was it, I’m so sorry! *Jack laughs* Mark: I didn’t know there was another building I- I could- I didn’t even realize Jack: HMMMMMMMM!!! Mark: *imitates Jack* HMMMMM! Jack: Oh yeah, you- you had the same idea *laughs* [Wade: But do you know where I is?] Mark: HHMMMMM! I’ll- I’ll man the perimeter Jack: Okay I’ll start shovin’ shit around Mark: I’ll start inserting things in my ass Bob: Um? Mark: *quietly* That’ll help *Bob starts laughing* Jack: Did you- did you just leave? *Bob laughs really hard* Bob: *stops laughing abruptly* No Wade: Um, no Jack: Did you do it? Jack: Did you do what I think you did? Bob: No Bob: No, it’s fine, this is fine Jack: Aww, man! *chuckles* Bob: Don’t worry about it *Bob laughs* Jack: Aww man!! I heard another door Mark: Oh, no that was me upstairs – did you get goofed? Bob: That was Mark up here, don’t worry about it [Mark: Did they goof you? Jack: Yeah…] Mark: Are you covered in goof-juice? Jack: The door down here opened and someone left Mark: Oh nooooooo Jack: OOOOhh, what do I do? Mark: There’s so much goof-toplasm everywhere- Mark: There’s so much goof-toplasm everywhere- Jack: OH! *shoots* Bob: WOOOOOOAH Mark: Woah! Bob: What the fuck, man?! Jack: You can’t be bleach again
Mark: Where you at, Wadey-woo? Jack: Oh, god, there’s a fuckin’ room of dolls in here Wade: I’m Jack: Jesus! Wade: …around Jack: There’s a pentagram of dolls Mark: *quietly* Around Bob: Can Can you find him? Mark: I saw something! Bob: *laughs* Goddamn, Wade! Mark: I saw something, Waaade *Wade giggles* Bob: Wade doesn’t give a shiii about doors Wade: Nope! Bob: He opens ’em, he closes ’em *Wade giggles* *small Wade giggle* Mark: What’s going on, Wade? Huh? Jack: I don’t have a grenade anymore, so you’re on your own with that Mark: I’ve got a gren-ah-day Bob: Oh my god, please Bob: Please Wade….woah Mark: Whope *explosion* BAM! *Wade laughs* Jack: NICE! SICK! *Mark cackles in victory* Wade: I was doing that the whole map Mark: No, no, no, I don’t think you were. No, I-I- Wade: Yeah, and every time Jack heard a door open you’re like “Oh that’s me upstairs” – I was like “Nope, I was me” *laughs* Jack: I-I broke my game – it’s constantly vibrating Bob: Awesome! Jack: Yu-yu-yu-yu My screen is freakin’ out right now Bob: Nice *death sound* Jack: FUCK! *everyone laughs* Jack: So, you can’t- ya can’t jump out of the tree house, then, no? Mark: *quietly* It all comes down to this Mark: It all comes down to this, guys Bob: Yes Bob: *stumbles over words* This is the pivitable- pivivible thing *Jack chuckles* Wade: You okay, Bob? *Jack laughs* Jack: How’d the-? Oh Bob: *gasp* No! *Jack laughs* Mark: Awww *Bob laughs* Mark: That’s embarrassing Jack: Did you get scared ’cause Jack was coming? *Outro music* Jack in link: Oh, it’s a point and click! Man, I haven’t played a point and click in ages Oh shit- OH SHIT! He’s actually attacking me this time Go! Go, go, go! Where the fuck is Sally? Bob: Yeah I was- well, I was trying to use my back ladder escape *Mark laughing* *Jack laughs* Yeah