oh god i don’t like that welcome back everyone you join me at the start of the second day of the mission across wales having traveled seven miles on the first doesn’t sound like a lot does it but i was actually way ahead of schedule having survived the worst of the farmland this side of the mountains and apart from the odd warranted occasion staying pretty close to the line all in all the plan for day two was to reach lake vernwe where i could surely find a good spot to camp on its shores and worry about crossing it tomorrow between me and the lake though were a couple more farms not to be underestimated and then i’d have to get through a whole new host of terrains and challenges and in some pretty awful weather conditions too i’m an absolute shivering wreck at the moment after a night dominated by deafening winds and creaking trees i woke to find that my thumbnails had become infected rendering them almost useless and all the other little cuts on my hand had suffered a similar fate but they were nothing compared to what was in store for me today keep watching but not if you’re squeamish all the cuts that i sustained yesterday i think they’ve got a bit infected from all the sheep shit that’s sort of oozed into them literally it was agony to change the gopro battery so it’s a bit worrying for breakfast we dine on kruger biltong jelly babies and a boost bar not sure anyone’s ever had that combo before yeah it’s one pissed out fire on we go into the brave i feel like when we get over this crest here it’s gonna be brutal let’s give it a go though oh god i hate these fucking hate these man dead sheep it’s kind of good that it’s limited visibility less likely to be seen also i don’t even know if farmers will be out on a day like this it’s brutal for the next few fields i’ve battled with the elements but somehow felt invisible to farmers it kind of felt like i was on a special stage in a video game where there were no enemies just points very cold wet windy points but just as i was approaching the first farm the gopro died on me but i’ll do my best to explain what happened the line actually goes straight through this house for some reason i opted to go round the house to the left instead of through the farm as i got right up close to the house i could see a woman in a window with a light on staring out at me i decided not to go through a garden but to skirt round the hedge again and round the other side again regrettable but definitely not worth the risk all in all it took me another 30 yards offline you rejoin me at the next farm a little over to the left this time but i’d be hoping for more tree cover like this to creep through and i seem to be in luck person down there farmer hasn’t seen me yet he’s just gone in so i’m off there’s his land rover hopefully it stays put car coming that casual i hope that no one’s watching me hop this hedge jesus christ this is massive what made this hedge so difficult was the six foot drop to make it down without stacking it again i’d have to shimmy my way down the hedge using the least thorny branches i could find to cling on to oh that was bad the next hedge was supposed to be easier but my paranoia made me rush it this awful technique resulted in me somehow getting trapped inside it that’s two of the hardest hedgerows yet

[Applause] a hidden dell offered the perfect haven to drink some much needed water and shake off any potential heat from the last farm i would soon be leaving the fields behind me and entering a completely different landscape rugged moorlands would be a welcome change from farm paranoia but large swathes of pine forests had the potential to slow me down to an absolute snail’s pace with the last farm out the way i was almost there and as i approached the foot of this 200 meter ridge i was itching to find out just how dense and infuriating this climb would actually be here we go into the deep dark wood how dense is this going to be oh doesn’t look too bad just yet okay it doesn’t look too dense thank fuck it’s just about weaving in and out of the trees oh shit look at this i’m in a pheasant farm i think yeah there’s the electric bit i don’t know if that’s electric soon find out but then the relatively flat spacious forest floor grew steeper and quite a lot more branchy this is so difficult but it wasn’t just piles of slippery logs that was slowing me down there were brambles ah steep crumbly banks and more fences over we go again oh don’t like this but then it started to change the higher i climbed into the mist the more mystical and enchanting it became i felt like i was alone on my own little planet but without being terrified down in a hole and i don’t know if i can be free wow cool little cave i don’t want to sleep in there though time must have gone by fairly swiftly while i was in my little mossy bubble okay i’m hoping we ain’t too far from the top that’s what i’m hoping of course it could be very different to reality and it was oh god no i hope that’s not what i think it is tightly packed small christmas trees that is not good after battling myself up a bank covered in a bush entirely made of thorns oh this just lethal ow a species of bush that i would genuinely come to hate i looked up at the wall of pine that stood before me look at this i’m hoping it’s just the outside layer that’s nice and bushy and that the rest is dead and spacious somehow i don’t think so but let’s find out okay oh god it’s not great can i stand up at all in here okay i think i can yeah oh it’s not good though i’m gonna be twang left right and center ah my neck is full of fine needles yes i can see the end now the end is in size oh shit me greenery hallelujah look at that shit is that a dear shit let me know dear fanatics oh my god never again what am i talking about i’ve got plenty of that to come well i’m having a rest leave me alone still on track and on beautiful luscious fuck my legs caught on the barbed wire

okay i don’t feel any pain so i think we’ll go away with that one but i needn’t have been quite so smug there was much worse to come on the old barbed wire fence front in the meantime though i still had five cold wet miles to go until i’d reached the shores of lake vernon i just realised i’m in a storm these army clothes are not completely waterproof it turns out i’ve got to keep moving so i’m wet through i’ve got to keep moving i’ve got to do this day as quick as i can get a fire going somehow i’m quite demoralized to be honest and then i’ve got two more days after that at least it’s very hard to keep morale at moments like this but you’ve got it got it the alternative is you’re miserable so it’s an easy choice for me i won’t lie to you i’m really struggling at the moment i don’t know whether i’m a bit hypothermic or just not enough water or something keep up the spirits thomas keep him up that’s the little voice inside my head who wants to win but just hasn’t got much say at the moment i’ve got to get through that have i alright let me collect my thoughts and then we’ll do it okay i’ve collected them there aren’t many i might get stuck in here forever i feel like it’s going to come alive hopefully it doesn’t and it can fucking shift out the way oh can’t just walk around things in life gotta go straight into them and that’s the moral of this trip didn’t plan it to be but it is now what do we got next then don’t think we’re far from activity here so i’m going to keep it moving i think we’re all right oh god it’s a flimsy one shit oh dear oh dear i’ve literally pulled the tissue out of my hand that’s horrible okay um i need to get that cleaned up somehow because that’s pretty bad i decided to ring my girlfriend verity who was originally going to meet me at lake vernery that evening to restock me with food supplies but i figured a premature first aid based rendezvous was justified here okay help is on its way look at that can you see that i don’t like that at all i can’t carry on with that so i’ve got to meet my girlfriend at meeting point a which is just down there somewhere i’m really worried about all the sheep shit that’s on my fucking hand oh man this is a real low point but there were more barbed wire fences to climb the thought of tackling another wobbler now was desperate this one’s better luckily this next one was new and rigid but in this clumsy hypothermic state it still needed due care and attention in a couple of hours time i’d be sitting in a nice warm car while nurse verity tended to my wounds but that didn’t change the fact that i was currently shivering my bollocks off i’m an absolute shivering wreck at the moment i’m finding it really hard to uh raise the willpower to film to be honest but unbeknownst to me the gopro was in an even worse state i couldn’t have captured anything if i wanted to you are from what i can gather from these strange clips i’d started to lose the plot again either that or i actually was involved in some sort of battle for middle earth boromir no but as if blessed by gandalf himself

the gopro started to work again and soon enough i could see tarmac this is the meeting point okay this is where we’ll meet this is it so i’ve just got to wait now and hopefully don’t get too cold in the process you get quite cold when you stand still you know your neck cramps up because you’re shivering that’s happening well i’m all bandaged up thanks to you and um i’m pretty much dry now and lots of my clothes that were ringing wet are now dry look down here they’re still a bit wet but they’re drying off at a decent pace look at that can you see that the prospect of going back out into that and getting completely drenched again i’d go back out do that extra two miles to the lake by which point it would be dark when i set my tent up i’d be absolutely soaking wet i’d be covered in pine needles again to cut a long story short we’re sleeping in the car and just like that i was on my own again but i was ready to conquer that lake in fact as i positioned myself back onto the line with a view to slash my way through this forest my morale couldn’t have been higher let’s do it day three getting dry and warm had made all the difference the sun was out and perhaps most importantly my injury hadn’t become infected i ventured through this spongy wonderland with great intent sipping from its streams as i went absolute do you mind absolute lifesaver this thing straight away i was totally isolated from the world again no one would find you in here that’s for sure just heard a dog bark pretty loud listen suspiciously loud for where we are as far as i know we’re right out the way here nowhere near civilization really just hoping they don’t have like patrol alsatians there it is again i think that’s a road up there don’t forget this is all owned by the forestry commission or a privately owned company so i think i’m alone here i think we’re alone now okay let’s get across this bit as quick as poss oh god that’s not good okay kind of having to do this but still look out for potentially a guy with a dog there’s a dog now approaching from behind i’ve got no chance i’m gonna get a big bite on the ass fucking out but the brambles continued on the other side of the road ah god if this was in the summer i would have no chance this is why i did it in the winter and then extended deep into the woods weaving themselves amongst the countless slippery fallen trees i don’t even want to show you any more of that because things got wondrous again as i ascended into the heavens it was like a giant green sponge canvas with a light dusting of icing sugar wow this is spongy that is so spongy i’m on top of the world right now to be honest amazing how much your spirits can change until finally the welcome return of openness right wow look at that so we’re up on the heath land the moorland if you like um there’s not a soul up here just a few sheep i am anticipating maybe a few boulders a few rocks and a few swampy bits that i might sort of get my feet wet in uh so yeah let’s crack on and get down there because i think we’ve got sort of half a mile then there’s a bit

of woodland down to the lake kayak across the lake yeah let’s go but my estimation of half a mile would prove to be way off here we go we’re coming over the top here oh don’t say we have to go down and then up again i think we might have to you know because i don’t see a big lake down there do you at least i was right about the few rocks and the swampy bits oh this is a giant swamp stick to the tops my reluctant descent took me out of the snow into the sun and right the way down to this freezing mountain river i’ve just got to make sure i balance look at that boy am i glad to see you mr sun but i was keen to tackle the steepness of the opposing valley wall and get to the lake as early as possible to give myself the best chance of beating any weather or equipment related complications so darn serene i think what’s going to happen here is we’re going to get over the crest of this hill and we’re going to see lake burnley right in front of us and i think it’s going to be a wonderful site wrong again you’re joking right i’m absolutely furious with myself i’ve just missed a load of good juicy footage the gopro wasn’t even recording so i was coming over the top of that hill there and i was just explaining to you at least i thought i was how happy i am you know after all that happened yesterday how low i was and how much i appreciated just being able to walk across this green grass with the sun out and i was just on top of the world basically and i also said there’s no way there’s any farmers up here but you never know literally 30 seconds later a guy on a quad bike comes round he might he might come back he was up there comes round comes onto my field i dip down low and he goes off another way he never saw me so i make a run for it to this fence here then i’m faced with this i don’t know if you can make out how steep that is but i’ve dipped down here he’s come back along here really basic quad bike doesn’t see me so i’m going to get down here if i can without dying and up the other side and see if he’s about but i’m so pissed off with myself that that none of that was on film okay here we go oh god what am i holding on to here fuck me man that’s pretty stable enable and everything in between this is amazing look at that and we go up the other side then and hopefully this farmer has gone baby phillips he says okay keep a lookout for this farmer you can see his tracks here i think that’s where he’ll be down there and there it was lake vernon five miles long half a mile across and one submerged welsh village deep a day like this would have been amazing but i was anticipating much choppier waters right the lake doesn’t look too choppy from here but i am quite a distance away right now i’ve got about half a mile of wood to get through but then my gopro had some more issues which meant a big chunk of this forest descent wasn’t captured ramadan but it sprung back into action again just as my erratic behavior increased which i can only put down to nerves because as the lake drew nearer i couldn’t help but dwell on the worryingly big waves that i’d witnessed the day i’d stash the kayak and the time i got seasick on an inflatable dinghy i’ve got to go back i feel sick oh and there we go eventually i could see gaps in the trees okay definitely see the lake drawing nearer [Applause] look people hello a bridge that’s handy don’t fancy crossing that there you go we are on the roof so suck my balls the lake looks pretty calm yeah get in i’m ecstatic about that i like me right gotta cut up this bank now so excited now but first i had to find the stashed kayak which nestled amongst all these brambles would prove tricky oh what the fuck but just seconds later

i stumbled across the spot there she blows there she blows matey okay here it is right i’m here at the lake the choppy looking lake i have to say i’ve been waiting for the perfect chance to go the weather has been so intermittent it’s been snow sun every 10 minutes has been changing basically i’m going that direction and the the wind is blowing the complete opposite way um so it’s going to blow me downstream if you like i just want to get this over and done with now get this thing down there all right you fat bastard um get this thing down there set it up blow it up get the fuck across this lake i really don’t want anyone to see me carrying this oh never mind and my trousers are falling down that’s always a plus okay still got a bit of shoreline to go apparently oh this is a perfect spot it’s looking a bit choppy my god look at this is this the vessel that gets me across the lake was it the vessel that kills me just drag it across the thorns mate yeah that’s all going in there we go that can go at the front i guess okay here we go it’s in okay the water is actually fairly calm at the moment so let’s do this dad i did lie i said i was wearing a life jacket as you can see i’m not i don’t like this oh i don’t feel steady at all on this thing fuck well i’ve got to get out of the trees haven’t i okay oh i don’t feel steady my goodness this is terrifying okay now i’m picking up quite a bit of speed oh there’s the wind oh man okay i feel a little bit sick already can’t believe you’ve done this but it was a fairly good start i was going at a fair old pace and i could clearly see the point of which i was aiming for in the distance but the waves were getting bigger oh man i don’t like this weather front coming in though yeah the rain is coming in for sure further into the lake things went up a notch the wind and rain worsened oh the wind is really blowing me back now oh god i don’t like that and big waves threaten to twist me round into a horizontal position and potentially capsize me all of a sudden i was very aware that i didn’t have a life jacket on but all i could do was reassure myself that this was a perfectly safe activity and hope the kayak didn’t deflate that’s it you got it this is all right in it this isn’t dangerous is it yeah ride them out mate ride them out i’m gonna get a move on i was now over halfway with the end clearly in sight my heart was broken come on don’t sing the proclaimers might just get to the fucking edge shit i’ve just noticed the boats made in china oh god paddle [Applause] come on mate you get in there these waves are nothing getting very cold i know that we’re almost there guys i don’t know if the gopro has still got any battery i don’t know how long this has taken me feels like about half an hour okay how the fuck am i gonna get off here i’m just gonna have to try and get this right okay i’m going for it oh okay kayak don’t float away please shit yes i’m still alive i haven’t drowned

and i see death i’m freezing but i’ve done it it really doesn’t look bad from this angle i was scared to be honest when i was very exposed in the middle i’ve got no sort of scout guide to tell me everything’s fine i mean i’m sure a scout guide would tell me to wear a fucking life jacket i mean i know that much yes haha i’m still alive moment of truth let’s see how straight i went i mean i can’t wait to see this i don’t know if you can see this but this is my line across the lake started off obviously a bit out to cock at the start there but then it was really straight remarkably straight and then i veered to the left a fair bit look at that but it looks like i’m veered off by about 80 meters sounds like a lot and it is a lot it’s about the same as what i’ve veered um to avoid the river crossing on the first day first hour 80 meters safe and sound the other side i don’t think that’s too bad and then sort of came back in and remarkably i’ve ended at pretty much spot on the right point so now i just need to head in that direction make me a big ass fire because i’m a shivering wreck again but this time i’m a happy shivering wreck dry off and get some grub down me and um big day ahead of me over the mountains that could be interesting too see you in a sec just on the hunt for a good camp spot really i’ve got a real good feeling that we’re just gonna find the most perfect camp spot i can’t get at that can i maybe tomorrow morning the light’s getting low now the lake’s still just there this little flat piece of ground here will do nicely it’s all a bit hasty here guys i’ve put my tent up here basically on the edge of this drop it’s very slanted in here so if i do roll off and sort of all the tent pegs ping out i might end up down in that stream which is pretty ferocious by the way considering i’m on my own in this big um so i’m all right see you in the morning i’m quite worried about going over there you must have seen me then fucking scared freezing up now oh god what is this i can’t get down there you

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